I'm the pizza-in-the-oven sort," explained a friend of mine recently.
Helen had been on some sort of management-training psychological-profiling gobbledegook weekend and, when the group she was with delegated roles for the evening meal, she was charged with the task of grilling the pizzas.
A less-efficient sort may have stood chatting, then rushed it last-minute or tried to juggle some other task while the toppings were bubbling away, but Helen instinctively went straight to it and stood diligently over the oven, focused on the job at hand.
I'm afraid I'm naturally a flitter and procrastinator and that's perhaps part of the appeal of gardening, because for most seasonal tasks there's usually a complete lack of urgency or set order in which they need to be completed.
A flower doesn't mind if you deadhead it, feed it or spray it this week or next - whether you jumble the order or do it fast, slow or naked on horseback.
Winter jobs especially can be tackled at your leisure - the only proviso is that you try and get the biggies like pruning, weeding and planting out of the way by mid-August, when suddenly everything roars back to life.
Clearing off flower beds was traditionally an autumn job, but these days it's considered almost mean to have been too tidy back in May when all that dead and dying plant material could be left on the beds to provide a home for over-wintering beneficial bugs and insects and also to act as a duvet, protecting the crowns of deciduous plants from frost in the colder parts of the country.
As well as the wildlife value of mess and the chance to procrastinate gloriously, the wreckage of dead plants can look rather romantic; the sort of ruffled-haired Mr Darcy ruggedness that appeals to a certain (usually female) segment of the population. Stems and seedheads possess a definite hint of tragic charm about them, but from now on they are fair game for the "pizza watching" sorts who have been champing at the bit to be let loose with their shears, hoes, buckets and dreaded blow-and-vac gadgets.
But, as with everything, there's a knack to clearing off beds - too brutal with the rake and you'll hoover up all those plant labels you so usefully wrote out last year; too lazy with the secateurs and you'll leave a sea of unsightly stubble behind.
Deciduous grasses are especially tricky to cut down because of the sheer quantity and toughness of the dead stalks. I always use powered hedge shears now, which neatly slice them at ground level, provided you remember to take out any metal stakes you used in the summer for support. For special plants like echinacea and lobelias, which have delicate and hard-to-spot crowns, I tend to leave a few stalks to mark their presence and, as I clear, I sprinkle them with slug pellets to protect the soon-to-emerge new growth.
Plants like delphiniums and hostas are especially vulnerable to an early munch, so be quick to control slugs and snails there. Some plants make a clean sweep easy. The brittle, dead stems of prairie plants like eupatoriums and astilbe snap off cleanly at the base if you give them a kick, while hostas melt away to nothing - so once the slushy piles of leaves are whisked to the compost heap, I mark the plant with a circle of sand or grit, which in itself discourages the snails.
Clearing provides barrows of useful food for the compost heap - most things except weed seeds, salvias and euphorbia stems will rot down into a beautiful crumbly mix - but still I like to leave as much material standing for as long as I possibly can.
Cannas and salvia clumps have been thinned through and tidied rather than being razed to the ground until now, but perhaps it's time to take the bull by the horns. Brown swags of Siberian iris, even after splaying on the ground, have a certain tousled beauty, too, but need to be tackled. It looks as if the dead leaves would pull effortlessly away from their moorings, but in reality they are anchored fast and only laborious chipping away with the secateurs will clean them up.
Evergreens in general look like they get to escape the chop, but two that you should include in your plans for mass destruction are hellebores and epimediums. Both are classy shade-lovers with attractive leaves, but their soon-to-emerge flowers often look sullied by last year's somewhat tatty foliage, so while you can, it's best to mow down every last leaf now so the flowers - closely followed by next year's leaves - have a blank canvas on which to emerge.
Weeding goes hand-in-hand with cutting down - the only time you really get to look into the centre of many flower clumps is when they are mown down and you can prod their scalps with the zeal of a school nurse checking for nits.
With badly infested clumps, consider digging them out, chopping them up and re-planting a few clean pieces: it's the sort of chore I'd often leave until another day, but the thought of my friend Helen perched at the grill pan often sends me back for the spade rather than heeding the call of a comfy armchair.
Could do ... will do
* Finish cleaning off beds with a sprinkle of fertiliser and a good tickle around with a fork.
* Natural fertilisers such as blood and bone, and sheep pellets break down slowly and are gentle on the soil and all the beneficial organisms which live in it. Artificial fertilisers, however, are much more potent and fast-acting but can be harsh on soil ecosystems and wash into waterways if over-applied in wet weather.
* Border forks are widely available. Commonly mistaken as "women's forks", these smaller versions are excellent for working around busy borders, breaking up the top layer of soil to get an attractive crumbly finish and relieving the compaction brought by your trampling feet. Look out for quality models with sharp, pointed prongs rather than blunt, square types which require much more effort to use.
Garden Guru: Chop and change
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