Garden Guru: Blokes in the back yard

Designer Dave Domoney comes up with some twists on how a man's garden might be furnished. Photo / Supplied

Where have all the men gardeners gone? When I'm out and about giving a talk to a club or society it's getting harder to spot a moustache or beard amid the sea of handbags and pearls.

It's true that, traditionally, the Kiwi bloke has always held a supportive role rather than being lord and master when it comes to the flowery parts of his manor.

With many large country gardens it's often the same story - hubby cleared the land and fenced it, dug out a pond and carted some timber and rocks when his machinery wasn't needed on the farm.

And then it was "her indoors" who was left in charge outdoors too, to pretty things up.

Anything needing chainsawing and he's there, and of course the boring grass-cutting was always a male preserve. But otherwise it was the woman who did all the work.

It's not that men don't like plants, but they see them more in terms of a project - as something to be conquered or as a way of getting one up on the neighbours rather than as something to be nurtured, enjoyed and admired.

Why else would blokes get motivated to turn out at traditional country shows with mammoth pumpkins and cosseted giant-size carrots? And why are plant breeders predominantly blokish boffins obsessed with recording and planting seedlings in regimented rows with military precision waiting for decades for a new shade of red or a new twist of petal?

But lately it seems that many men have retreated even further from having anything to do with gardens.

Perhaps they now see the backyard merely as a place to park the trailer or boat or to build a deck the size of a football pitch.

Concrete they can cope with, but pots and petals - yuk.

Even the lawn, that bastion of male pride, seems to have been abandoned.

Drive through suburbia at the weekend and it's often the women who are out in the heat of the day grappling with the mower or teetering on wobbly ladders wielding the electric hedge-cutters. Their partners may be wheeled out to turn sausages on the barbecue of an evening but that's about it for hard yakka. Health and safety, too, has its part to play in the demise of men in the garden. Because we are averse to large trees we are not required to wheel out our chainsaws.

Instead, our partiality for gizmos and gadgets has to be satiated with a noisy leaf-blower which, with its wincing whine, never has quite the macho appeal of a hefty chainsaw crunching through logs like a shark tucking into a boogie board.

There are, though, flickers of hope that the balance can be tilted back to a more healthy level, and a few designers are asking the question: Just what does appeal to men when they step out of the back door?

A project or two - preferably requiring a big array of power tools - is a good place to start.

The first thing men like to do is to stake out their boundary and build their manor wall. Men like things to be pretty instant, so no messing about with hedges here - just give me brick, blocks or loads of board and batten and they'll be in heaven.

If the site slopes, terrace it; if it's flat, dig a pond or a pit.

Conquering is the key, whether it's moulding the topography, bashing a bush into submission, or putting up a bigger shade-sail than the neighbours.

A decent shed is the next requirement - something on the same scale as a farm implement shed, able to house the boat, the ride-on mower (even though the lawn is the size of tea-tray) and tools, tools and more tools.

Men have cottoned on that lawns are just water-guzzling time-wasters so give them gravel and decking, even a carpet of carex, for these are far better ways to clothe the floor.

Entertainment, or at least the perception of entertainment, is essential. Never mind the fancy bits of sculpture, what the garden needs is useful stuff like a petanque pitch, a pool and a pizza oven that will eat up the wall of logs you put up last weekend.

Floodlight everything, dig a fire-pit, put over-amped speakers in every corner and you will be almost there.

Men like things definite and honest, whether it's hard landscaping or soft, so big chunky stairs and pots are as appealing as strong architectural plants. Yes, it's okay to let in a bit of the soft stuff, just not too much of that wispy cottage garden chocolate-box nonsense.

Palms, bromeliads, arum lillies or spiky agaves are all fine but there's no room for prancing around with pale pastels.

Vibrant primary colours and a good dash of black will get the thumbs-up every time.

I reckon that most men see plants as animals in a paddock while women see them as pets. It's not that men don't like plants it's just they don't want to get too friendly because they know they are probably going to kill them in time.

The sort of plants we like are the ones we can boast we grew to such-and-such a size one week and bash the hell out of them with the loppers the next.

Manly tasks for this week

* Dig a hole. It's not too late to be planting container-grown trees, shrubs and climbers. Hymenosporum flavum is a narrow fast-growing tree that's perfect for hiding a neighbour. It has scented flowers, too.
* Most natives can be clipped at any time of the year whether they need it or not, but if you really feel you want to get your itchy fingers on the shears, have a go at plumbago, banksia rose (the lemon yellow one that has just flowered) and any bougainvillea scrambling up your drainpipes. These varmints like nothing better than a rough haircut as the weather warms and will flower just as well.
* Hibiscus is another shrub that can be hit hard - prune back with secateurs and loppers by a third to a half - it will easily make up the height again by the end of summer.