Four ways to stay calm when moving house

Moving house is considered the most stressful life event. Photo / Getty Images

Moving house is considered by some to be the most stressful life event we will ever face. According to a 2014 survey, carried out by EstatesDirect.com, "buying or selling a house" was rated the number one stressor, with "divorce" coming in at number two.

Yet in the questionnaire academics use most often to rank life stressors, the so-called Schedule of Recent Experiences (SRE), creators Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe found that "a change in living conditions" was ranked only 28th. "Death of a spouse" comes top, while "Divorce" and "Separation" are rated second and third. This difference can be easily explained.

First, most surveys take the form of a checklist rather than open questions, so, in effect, those who ask the questions have already decided which events are stressful enough to be included. Second, surveys about moving house generally focus only on individuals who've recently moved – and for them, the experience is likely to be at the forefront of their minds. The 394 individuals originally asked to judge the items on the SRE, on the other hand, weren't chosen on the basis of a particular recent experience.

Furthermore, moving is more common in the United States than in Europe – the US Census Bureau estimates that the average American moves home at least 11 times in their lifetime, whereas in most European countries that figure is closer to four. Americans are, therefore, more used to the process, which in turn may help reduce the level of perceived stress.

But, even so, moving home isn't easy. You have to discard familiar routines and create new mental maps and new habits, reorder your daily schedule, and – perhaps most difficult of all – sort through your belongings and probably part with some of them. How can you make this process as painless as possible? Here are some suggestions:

Overestimate the time you'll need

Start decluttering and sorting at least a month before your move. Label clearly the boxes of items you want to keep, and give other possessions to a worthy cause. As you sift your items, have in mind the Marie Kondo mantra – does this item "spark joy"? – or the motto of designer William Morris: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."

Prepare a 'moving kit'

Set aside a box containing one week's worth of everything you will need in your new home, as if you were going on a self-catering holiday. That way, you won't have to trawl through boxes as you settle in during those first few days. Knowing precisely which box contains the kettle, cups and tea bags will also ensure a calmer start to your new chapter.

Think before you talk about the move

Avoid words such as "stressful" and "exhausting", and instead talk of "adventure", "challenge", and "a new start".

Don't be shy about asking for a hand

Be sure to accept offers of help – and, if they're not forthcoming, ask for them. There's no gain in wearing yourself out, and your friends will enjoy feeling they've helped you during a challenging time.