So much to live for: Puppy Rongoā and a granddaughter on the way are helping the pair stay positive. Photo / Stephen Barker
So much to live for: Puppy Rongoā and a granddaughter on the way are helping the pair stay positive. Photo / Stephen Barker
Almost three years ago, former Kiwi Ferns captain Honey Hireme-Smiler tied the knot with her love Rochelle Smiler in an intimate wedding ceremony in the Waikato, opening an exciting new life chapter together.
Tragically, though, last December, the inseparable pair received some heart-breaking news. After visiting her GP for an unexplained itch, youth mentor Rochelle learnt she has bile duct cancer. And, even worse, the long-term couple were told it's terminal.
It was a devastating blow for Sky Sport commentator Honey, whose mother Caryn Hunter passed away from stomach cancer at age 62 shortly after the nuptials, which were held specially in Waikato Hospital's chapel so she could attend.
"This is like what happened with her mum all over again, so when we heard the news, my first thought was for our family and how Honey would be left to pick everything up," shares Rochelle, who met the former Black Fern 10 years ago while playing club rugby in Hamilton. "I didn't want to break down because I could see how broken she was."
Rochelle (left) and Honey on their wedding day with the sports star's mum Caryn, who hung on to see her beloved daughter marry her soulmate. Photo / Supplied
A month before her diagnosis, Rochelle – otherwise feeling fit and healthy – visited her doctor because of excessive itching, which was worse at night and particularly on the soles of her feet. She recalls her stomach also feeling a little off and losing her appetite, which she put down to the stress of her brother passing away from an unexpected heart attack just two weeks earlier.
"She was scratching a lot and we just thought it was eczema or the change in season," says Honey, 40, who retired from professional sport in 2020 after an impressive 18-year career playing both rugby and league for Aotearoa.
"Some nights she'd wake up and need to use a cool towel to ease it a bit. She had a few sore tummies, but not massively, so the doctor sent her for a blood test and noticed it came back with high levels of bilirubin."
Made by the liver, bilirubin is a yellowish pigment found in bile. When two further tests showed Rochelle's levels were growing abnormally higher, she was sent to Waikato Hospital for a CT scan. The pair were told it could be gallstones, so when a team of medical staff pulled them aside on the 1st of December, they were stunned to hear Rochelle has stage 4 cancer.
Gisborne-raised Rochelle – who sadly lost her mother Christine Henry to melanoma a decade ago – learnt that her cholangiocarcinoma, aka bile duct cancer, has spread to her ovaries, lower abdomen, lungs and some of her lymph nodes.
With surgery no longer an option, Rochelle is having chemo to prolong her life. Photo / Supplied
"It was a massive shock and we were absolutely shattered," says Honey. "They said a tumour was wrapped around her bile ducts, and the one in her ovary was massive and measured 10x6cm. Since the cancer has metastasised to different parts of the body, Rochelle's only option was palliative chemotherapy, so treatment is about maintenance and prolonging her life."
Six months later, the pair are making the most of their precious married life together, spending quality time with Rochelle's boys Tyronne, 21, and Kieran, 19, and Honey's son Karasharn, 17, who are all back home to be close to their mums.
They also adopted a black shih tzu puppy named Rongoā, te reo Māori for "healing", and have almost completed a long-awaited full home renovation. Even more exciting for the pair is the upcoming birth of their first grandchild, a baby girl due on August 28.
"Honey and I wanted a girl since we've got all boys!" grins Rochelle, who has endured eight 21-day cycles of chemotherapy. "We steal everyone else's babies all the time, so it'll be nice having a baby in the house that's our own grandchild."
Life is busy for the duo, especially with Honey preparing to compete in the Burger King Fight For Life on July 21, an event that's raising money and awareness for mental health and suicide prevention for Kiwi youth.
Rochelle and Honey's sons (from left) Kieran, Karasharn and Tyronne are a big support. Photo / Stephen Barker
Rochelle is looking forward to sitting ringside in support of Honey, who is training twice a day in preparation for her fight against Mai FM radio star Tegan Yorwarth at the Auckland fundraiser, which is supporting Mike King's charity I Am Hope.
"I'm signed up to a gym that does BoxFit, but I haven't boxed professionally," says the Halberg Foundation disability sport advisor. "It has given me a real purpose and something to aim for since retiring.
"Boxing's a cool new environment, but I don't know if I'll stick at it once Fight For Life is over. While I love the training, it doesn't feel right for me when I hit somebody and see I've hurt them. I just want to give them a hug and I'm always saying sorry!"
Meanwhile, Rochelle – who finished work in February after eight years mentoring youth at Te Wānanga o Aotearoa – requires six-weekly scans to check the growth of her cancer. Miraculously, she says, the tumour in her ovary has shrunk more than 70 per cent since she started treatment.
Rochelle will be ringside to see Honey in her first boxing match. Photo / Stephen Barker
"Each time I've had a CT scan, which is regularly because I have private health insurance, there's been a small reduction. The primary one in my bile duct is harder to measure because it wraps around, but they can see there has been shrinkage. It means the chemotherapy is giving me more time."
While doctors estimated Rochelle had six months to live without chemo and 12 months with medical treatment, she's determined to stay around far longer. Through their own research and getting involved with the NZ Cholangio page on Facebook, she and Honey have met people with cholangiocarcinoma who are living eight years longer than predicted.
"When they give a life expectancy, it's not based on me – it's based on what my scans say amongst 1000 people they measure," Rochelle explains. "I've been fortunate that my body has reacted really well to treatment and chemo hasn't knocked me back like you imagine it would."
The league and rugby legend opens up about the devastating diagnosis that's rocked her beloved family. Photo / Supplied
Now the sport lover's enjoying a couple of months of well-deserved rest from treatment before her next scan and admits she's looking forward to getting her taste buds back as the chemo made everything taste metallic.
"I'll be making the most of tasting food again," laughs Rochelle, who has stents inserted in her stomach to help her bile ducts work.
"I'm also looking forward to getting back into the gym. I plan to do two sessions in the pool a week and maybe three in the gym with weights. I'm a bit limited in what I can do because of the stents, but it's not an excuse."
"Now it's about trying to create moments and not wasting time," Honey said. Photo / Stephen Barker
In the meantime, she and Honey – who share a love of fitness and the outdoors – are taking regular walks, which they agree are both physically and mentally rewarding.
"If I'm fit, it's only going to help my body heal," smiles Rochelle. "Now it's about trying to create moments and not wasting time. I want to make the most of the life I've got left."
