It wasn't signposted as an intrepid journey. The brief was to explore central Auckland's Asian food halls in search of the best exotic dishes.
Asian food specialist Connie Clarkson is our culinary interpreter and we even have a sensible driver. It will be a doddle compared to a ride down the Silk Road.
Well, this urban jaunt - which my travelling companion dubbed Hawkers Road - was just as challenging as any backpacker adventure. We were trapped in a carpark with a pack of honking, irate drivers, buffeted by high winds, and left parched after too many spicy dishes.
After four hours, five food halls and 20 dishes, we were bloated wrecks. I had to have a lie down.
It was a great trip, a true taste of Asia without leaving home - and it was done on a shoestring.
After years of eating at central-city food halls, Clarkson has singled out the best dishes. My tastes rarely extend beyond laksa, pad thai, sushi and, maybe, Number 17.
Clarkson was going to rewrite the menu, so we set off on Saturday morning with empty stomachs and open minds.
As author of Asian Flavours, Singapore-born Clarkson has an intricate knowledge of Asian cuisine, bolstered by a tour of eateries in Singapore and Vietnam. There's no doubt she loves the smell of star anise in the morning. "Let's push people to try new things."
Blimey, we're going to be test-dish dummies.
Our first stop is the Rialto Food Hall under the carpark in Newmarket. Inside, it's as neat as a pin and the clientele is mainly Asian. Clarkson orders a mixed platter of duck and pork from Passion Food.
"Always ask for the duck's breast-meat, it's the best part."
She also orders pickled cucumber and seaweed from Xian De Lai Shanghai - a bargain at $6 for the lot. Although the cucumber is an unnatural green colour, it's delicious. It's a taste, sighs Clarkson, that she's never been able to replicate.
Next we order Hainanese chicken rice from Yummy Malaysia. It's a simple dish of poached chicken submerged in a delicious oyster and soy sauce dressing.
It is accompanied by rice flavoured by the stock in which the chicken was poached, and side-dishes of chilli and soya, all an essential part of the taste.
The trick is to assemble a bit of each on the spoon. We finish the meal with coffee made Indian-style from Bar in the Cafe. This is coffee mixed with condensed milk and poured repeatedly from one mug to another. It's very sweet.
"The Asian palate prefers sweet things."
As we scoff the remains of the delicious mixed plater, Clarkson reminds us that we still have four more food halls to go. We trot back to the carpark, only to discover the security guard has left without raising the bar. We're trapped for half an hour. I'm having flashbacks of being stuck in a Taiwan hotel during a typhoon.
Next stop is the Ponsonby Food Hall. Left to my own devices, I order pad Thai from Ruk Thai.
Clarkson is disapproving, and pulls on her specs for a closer inspection. "I'm looking for the egg. The skill is how you incorporate it. It should be light and not gluggy.
"Looks like they've not used as much egg as they should have."
The other dishes appear. The seafood tofu on pot from Golden Express gets five stars.
The seafood laksa from Albert's Place is the best. "It's got all the right ingredients and two types of noodles. Superb."
But the dish that really takes our fancy is a deceptively simple one called pho, a traditional Vietnamese beef noodle soup. We order it at Mekong Vietnamese.
The owner, Lac Ly, once owned the Mekong restaurant, which in the 1980s was voted Metro magazine's best ethnic restaurant four years running.
Aside from its stunning taste, pho has little added fat.
In Vietnam, this dish is often eaten at breakfast. "When I travelled around Vietnam, I never saw any fat people," Clarkson says. "I spent 10 days there and ate like you wouldn't believe - and I still lost 3kg."
The dish has slivers of beef and rice noodles in a broth. Making the beef broth, spiked with star anise, is a labour of love.
"The best pho soups are made over many hours. It takes a lifetime of experience to make a good broth."
All that for just $8.50. Clarkson takes a sip. "It's better than some of the pho I ate in Vietnam. The depth of flavour just goes on and on."
Our next food hall is calling, Food Alley in Albert St, where we place first orders at an Indonesian stall called Naroeng Khansa - another traditional dish, sop buntut, a clear oxtail soup. Clarkson also recommends soto betwai, a beef soup with light coconut cream and spices, and lkan acar kuning (whole fried snapper).
From Clay Pot Roast we order chicken with rice and mushroom. Number 17.
Clarkson also suggests the chicken and rice dish from Chicks stall, and the prawn noodle soup from Malaysian Noodles.
If you want to go Japanese, Clarkson recommends katsu don (fried pork fillet) and yakisoba (fried noodles). But, "It's best to avoid Japanese curries."
Clarkson says Korean dishes are always good value for money because they come with lots of banchan (side-dishes). In Korea, every meal is accompanied by several banchan.
Now for the tasting. The Indonesian style oxtail soup (sop buntut) comes with condiments of red and green chilli, and sambal.
"Oh, it's divine," purrs Clarkson.
We barely have room for the clay-pot roast Number 17, but one spoonful is enough to know it's just the dish for a cold winter's day.
By this stage, after so many spicy dishes, we need a real thirst-quencher. The answer is ice kachang, ice laced with flavoured syrup, jelly, and fruit. It was one of Clarkson's favourite treats as a child in Singapore.
We sidle pass a display of undies to reach the food stalls at the Queen St Food Court. We need a break from feasting, so Clarkson lists her tried-and-true dishes.
At the Chinese place with no name, Clarkson points to the hot and spicy fish, and "carabs" with vermicelli.
From Double Happy we order the beef brisket casserole. From Hot and Spicy, Clarkson recommends traditional Korean kimchi fried rice and dolsot bibimbap.
From the Chinese stall Twin Dragon, Clarkson says you "absolutely must" sample the stewed pork belly on rice.
Our last destination is Mercury Plaza. It is shabby compared with the other pristine food halls, but Clarkson reassures us that the food is sublime.
"It's nearly impossible to pick a bad dish from any of these stalls."
One of her favourites is Malaysian Singapore Food Delight where she orders roti chanai (thin bread). Adventurous eaters should try the fish-head curry.
But we've saving ourselves for Tony Chan's crispy skin chicken at Chinese Cuisine.
Chan has been at Mercury Plaza for 10 years and fans - including Clarkson - come from all over to sample his crispy fried chicken.
"I haven't tasted any better - not even in Asia. His crabs are good, too. Everything he does is good."
This is one culinary exploration where you can work your way through Asia without leaving home.
Food halls of fame
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