Five simple ways to deal with stress
First, determine what your triggers are
For me it's work, especially post-lockdown, I find being in a hustly and bustly office environment almost unbearable. If you're the same, try to work from home as much as your job allows and if it doesn't, might I suggest finding another job if you're in a position to do so. I've recently left the corporate grind to be a full-time freelance writer and I can't recommend WFH enough - being able to be in my own safe, quiet space in comfy clothes and free from chatter.
Figure out your own form of meditation
While some people absolutely froth for those Headspace or Calm apps, I personally hate meditating. I've tried for years and I just can't do it, it makes me even more stressed. After finally accepting that, I realised that my form of meditation is showers.
While I prefer to douse myself in piping hot water, there is actually some evidence that cold showers can affect the chemical structure of your brain and lead to positive changes.
The Virginia Commonwealth University School of Medicine conducted a study where they found that the act of taking a cold shower in the morning changed the chemical levels in the part of the brain which makes noradrenaline to help give a feeling of energy and alertness.
Cold showers have also been shown to relieve symptoms of depression. Because of the high density of nerve cold receptors in the skin, a cold shower sends an overwhelming amount of electrical impulses from nerve endings to the brain, which can have a strong antidepressant effect. On top of this, cold water releases natural endorphins into your bloodstream and brain to help lift your mood.
I personally shower three times a day. I turn off all the bathroom lights, put on some day spa-esque music and light some candles then stay in the shower for absolute yonks and until my skin is shrivelled. Luxurious showers might not be your thing, but give some different things a try until you find your Zen kink.
Find a form of exercise you don't loathe
Because the truth of the matter is, having a gym membership doesn't actually help much if you don't go, trust me. I spent a decade paying $30 a week for Les Mills and would come up with every excuse under the sun to skip out. Weather's too hot. Can't go. Looks like it might rain. Can't go. It wasn't until I discovered reformer Pilates that I actually understood what it was to enjoy exercise. Pilates not your thing? Try boxing, swimming or Zumba or attempting to twerk in front of your bedroom mirror. You'll find something that works for you, just keep trying until you find it.
Then reframe your mindset on why you're exercising. I've spent the past six months trying to shred for my upcoming wedding, but it's very difficult to stay motivated to go to the gym when your fiance tells you you look fine as you are. It wasn't until my personal trainer, Coach Rhys Jolly, took me aside and said I need to look at exercise as a form of medication for my anxiety disorder, and any weight I lose is just a bonus, that I was able to drag myself out of bed every morning and get to classes.
"Your brain recognises exercise as stress being applied to it," explains Jolly. "For your body to protect yourself from this applied stress, it releases a protein called BDNF which helps protect and repair your brain's memory neurons and acts as a reset button. That's why you usually feel happy and calm after exercise."
Release the tension
My wonderful psychologist tells me that when our brains are in flight mode, as in fight or flight, we need to lean into that urge for momentum. If you're feeling suffocated by stress, get up and walk around, shake your arms, or do some self-care, if you know what I mean.
Masturbation causes dopamine, a chemical associated with pleasure, to be released into your body. Simply put, dopamine makes you feel good and puts you in a better mood. On top of that, the hormone oxytocin, which is released during orgasm, lowers cortisol levels. Cortisol is the main stress hormone and is usually present at high levels in stressed-out people. Touching yourself and climaxing can boost these chemicals and, as a result, help you feel more at peace.
"When you're anxious, your nervous system is on high alert for danger," says Megan Fleming, PhD, a clinical psychologist and instructor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College of Cornell University specialising in sex and relationships.
"The good news is that masturbation can act as a reset button. It tells your brain that things are okay, that you can breathe and relax. And from a more relaxed state, energy can again be expansive and you can have access to the best parts of you to make decisions and be more creative."
Some more G-rated exercises are TIPP Skills
"TIPP skills are a part of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy that can be useful for connecting back with your body and your surroundings," explains my clinical psychologist, Shruti Pathak.
"If you feel your emotions getting out of control, you can use the TIPP skills to help ground you. TIPP stands for temperature change, intense exercise, paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation.
"For temperature change, you can hold ice cubes, take a cold shower, or dunk your face in cold water. This helps to lower the intensity of your emotions and bring you back to the present.
"Intense exercise is helpful when you feel yourself disconnecting or numbing, (which can lead to dissociation) or to distract yourself from a trigger. Lastly, paced breathing and progressive muscle relaxation help change your focus to what is going on inside your body and can bring you outside of the emotions that may lead to dissociation."
What I've learned from my year of mental health hell though is there isn't a one-fix wonder. One breathing exercise and a few star jumps aren't going to make you instantly feel 100 per cent better, but I can guarantee you that in times of mental crisis these tools in your toolkit will make you feel 2 per cent better at the very least, and the more you practice them the more effective they'll be.
What is stress?
Stress is our body's response to a challenge – when we get a rush of natural chemicals to make us physically stronger and our senses keener. Stress is normal and everyone experiences it, but what we find stressful and how stressed we feel is different for different people, explains the Mental Health Foundation of New Zealand.
Work issues, relationships, money worries, and exams can all cause stress. In small doses, experiencing stress can help us to perform, but too much stress can be harmful.
Stress is supposed to be short and sharp, but when our stress response is turned on repeatedly from real or perceived threats, it can put strain on our bodies.
When we're stressed, our bodies prepare us to take action to defend ourselves. Our breath quickens so we have extra oxygen to fuel our tightened muscles, and our hearts beat two to three times faster. Our blood pressure rises, and our stomach and intestines stop working.
These and other stress responses are useful when we are in physical danger and need to move or respond quickly, but because most people's stress is not triggered by physical danger, we don't get the chance to burn energy and turn off the stress response. "This means we need to consciously manage our levels of stress," says the Mental Health Foundation.
Health Navigator NZ says common symptoms caused by long-term stress include headaches, muscle tension, neck or back pain, a dry mouth, feeling anxious or jittery, being more irritable or angry than normal, overeating or loss of appetite and not eating well, an upset stomach, chest pains and a rapid heartbeat, not sleeping, feeling tired, flat, down or worn out, finding it hard to concentrate or focus, needing coffee, energy drinks or sugar to keep going and increased skin infections, mouth ulcers, colds, rashes or asthma.
Long-term stress can increase the risk of a range of health conditions, such as high blood pressure, obesity and diabetes, depression, anxiety, heart disease, and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS). A stress-related condition called post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can develop after experiencing trauma.
Where to get help
In an emergency, phone 111 for an ambulance.
Need to talk? Free call or text 1737 any time, 24 hours a day.
Call Healthline for free on 0800 611 11
For more information on stress, visit mentalhealth.org and healthnavigator.org.nz
