Fathers still struggling to find work-life balance

Balancing work demands with helping to raise children remains a fraught issue for many fathers. Photo / Martin Sykes

It is a catch-22 situation facing every modern father: how to spend more time with children during their formative years while also providing for the family's long-term financial security.

On this issue, society has frequently failed fathers by either forcing them to give up work and become house husbands or demanding that they spend long hours in the office bringing home the bacon.

Those men who try to reconcile the two roles end up pleasing neither the family nor the boss, and, in the worst cases, suffer stress and even marital breakdown.

A report published in the UK today suggests that more men are giving up the battle for a better work-life balance. Almost half of fathers there fail to take up their right to two weeks' paternity leave.

Research published by the Equality and Human Rights Commission also reveals that two out of five men are afraid to ask for flexible working arrangements because they think it would harm their career prospects.

They fear their commitment to their job would be questioned and it would negatively affect their chance of promotion.

"While there have been huge changes in women's participation in employment over the last 30 years, men's contribution to childcare has not increased at the same rate," say the authors of the report.

"In most cases, women continue to shoulder the responsibility for childcare, even in households where both parents work full-time."

Fathers told the researchers they wanted to take a more active role in caring for their children, but two out of five admit that they do not spend enough time with their sons or daughters.

The findings are disheartening for men who harbour dreams of a more enlightened society which will support fathers who don't want to sacrifice their family lives for their careers.

Professor Jay Belsky, director of the Institute for the Study of Children, Families and Social Issues at Birbeck, said that the findings showed both how far society had come but also how far society has to to change.

"On the one hand, there have been great changes in fathers' involvement in the family in terms of time invested... but in terms of who the child goes to first when they need a parent, mothers are still first.

"So if you compare the father of today with the men of 30 years ago there has been something of a revolution, but if you compare today's father with the role of the mother then the changes are much more modest."

Professor Belsky was unsurprised that half of fathers don't take their full allowance of paternity leave.

He said that when paternity leave was first introduced in Sweden, considered by many to be the home of the work-life balance, there was a similarly low take-up.

"What we are talking about is a social expectation," says Professor Belsky.

"What men may be asking themselves is what their mates and employer will think of them if they take full paternity leave."

Becky Sibert, a policy officer at the charity Families Need Fathers, says that the Government needs to bring in social reforms to help fathers make better choices.

"It is clear that the Government's approach to supporting a balance between work and childcare commitments is outdated," she said.

But this report also shows that legislation is not enough to change society's attitude toward fathers.

Andrea Murray, acting group director of strategy of the Equality and Human Rights Commission, said: "It is clear that today's families require a modern approach to balancing work and childcare commitments."

- INDEPENDENT