Explaining terrorism to children

Talking through tragic events with children requires more than a classroom forum. Photo / Getty

How do you explain the atrocities of a terror attack to a child? What impact does news of war and terrorism have on the young?

John Cowan from non-profit organisation The Parenting Place says while it is unlikely children in New Zealand will be directly touched by war or terrorist attacks, the news of violent events can have an impact.

Cowan, an author and presenter for The Parenting Place since 2005, recalls working in an intermediate school during the September 11 attacks in New York.

"The children had witnessed thousands of lives snuffed out while they ate their breakfast. Those events were so monstrous that even adult brains were wheel-spinning, and so it is understandable that their immature interpretations of the events were bizarre," he says.

He says there was a lot of "excitement". "'We're going to be in a war!' one child said. Another ran around the playground asking people - including myself - which country we were from, presumably to sort out friend from foe.

"Another child's incomplete geography added to her fear - she mistook Washington for Wellington. As the days wore on, and the TVs kept showing the images of destruction over and over, I heard from several parents that their children became worried and anxious, especially at night."

In light of the terror attacks in Paris last weekend, Cowan shares his tips for explaining terrorism to children and addressing what they're seeing.

Give a 'grown-up' perspective

"Childish imagination fills the gaps between real facts," says Cowan. "Talking through tragic events with children requires more than a classroom forum. Children really need an adult to overlay the true significance and meaning of what has taken place. Talk to your kids and ask what they are afraid of. Their fears might be wildly amplified beyond real risks. Be honest with them about the safety of where we live. The truth might be very reassuring."

Limit their exposure

Cowan says it's important to monitor children's exposure to graphic images, descriptions from news coverage, and to explain things over that coverage.

"When your children are watching the news with you, add your commentary...After significant events, the news will always screen interviews with people expressing extreme views - often calling for blood and vengeance. Not every view is true, not every dire prediction comes to pass. Teach them to filter and interpret news."

Advocate concern and compassion

To a child, footage can look like the graphics of an exciting movie or video game, says Cowan. It's important to identify the differences.

"We do not want our kids to be afraid, but we do not want them uncaring, either", he says. "It might be happening a long way away and to people unlike us, but kids should sense our own sober concern and compassion."

He also advises if your child is experiencing loss of sleep, nightmares, loss of appetite or changes in behaviour that lasts more than two weeks, seek professional help from a doctor or counsellor.

- nzherald.co.nz