Ethically Kate: The more I get into sustainability, the harder it is to socialise

The more you get into sustainability, the harder it is to socialise. Is this normal? Photo / 123rf

OPINION

Q: The more I get into sustainability, the harder it is to socialise. Plus my husband isn’t on board with it so we argue a lot more. Is this normal?

A: Speaking from experience, unfortunately, this is totally normal. Living an eco-lifestyle drives a wedge between you and the rest of the world because mainstream society hasn’t caught up with the same values. It puts those of us who try our best to live sustainably into really awkward situations.

The most heated conversations I’ve had with my husband (we’ve been together for a decade), have been related to my “eco-living” decisions. We are excellent communicators and rarely argue, but the only times I have walked out onto the driveway in a huff and wanted to throw my proverbial eco-toys out of the cot is when we have had sustainability-related disagreements. He’s incredibly on board with all the wild things I do and often joins me in my natural deodorant trials, kombucha-making and sustainable experiments. But when someone isn’t exactly where you are, it’s impossible to talk about sustainable living without feeling like your core values are being trampled on and misunderstood.

Going back to the social element of sustainable living, I’ve experienced this too. It’s hard to be that person who says to their friends: “Let’s make dinner at home instead of grabbing takeaways,” or insists on taking the bus to the movies even though it takes a little longer. I once made my best friend cry because of my strong ethical fashion values - this is not something I am proud of, but something I have learnt from.

When you talk about eco-living or even purchase differently, you’re going to ruffle some feathers. Photo / 123rf

I hope these examples help you know that you’re not alone in the hard feelings that come with living life differently. It’s important to remember that when you talk about eco-living or even just carry out a habit or purchase differently, you’re going to ruffle some feathers. By actively adjusting how you live, you’re challenging the core values and beliefs of the people around you. You’re challenging the way they live too, even if you don’t overtly try to “convert” them.

Living with sustainable values is basically saying goodbye to living life on the down low. It’s saying “ta-ta” to being normal and low-key. It opens room for you to offend others more easily, let yourself down regularly and fail daily. No matter how hard you try to keep to yourself and not preach the “green message”, these conversations and situations will follow you everywhere. But don’t worry; society is slowly catching up.

In the meantime, know that there are others arguing with their friend in the mall over unethically made $5 T-shirts they know that they don’t need, repeatedly teaching their partner what goes in the recycling bin, and explaining to their grandmother that they will still be healthy if they don’t eat much meat.