Ethically Kate: How to tell family you don’t want plastic gifts for the kids this Christmas

If your kids unwrap plastic toys on the 25th of December this year, don’t get your knickers in a twist. Photo / Getty

Q What’s the best way for me to tell my in-laws we don’t want the kids to be given more plastic toys this Christmas?

A It’s hard to not feel ungrateful when expressing your desire for your children to boycott ownership of pointless plastic toys at Christmas.

I don’t have kids of my own, but I have navigated numerous gifting conversations that have resulted in successes and “learning experiences” (fails).

One of the biggest lessons I have learned is to remember the meaning of a gift.

No one is trying to offend you when they give you a gift; they’re simply showing their love and appreciation of you, or your child, in the form of an item.

With this in mind, it’s important to avoid saying “no gifts please”. I’ve done this; it doesn’t work. People want input into the lives of your children.

Instead, be specific about what types of gifts your family would value this Christmas. Give your in-laws tangible ideas. Send them websites, go shopping with them, and lead them directly to stores you’d like to support.

Plastic kids’ toys are the norm, so it’s going to take specific and strategised communication to ensure there are no plastic toys under the Christmas tree.

Strategised communication looks like ongoing conversations in unheated situations. I realise it’s already December, but ideally, you would have been chatting to your in-laws about your plastic-free toy values months ago.

Change doesn’t happen quickly, so warming them up to the idea of giving something different this Christmas must happen in small increments, not in one lecture two weeks before Christmas.

Lastly, give your in-laws grace.

If your kids unwrap plastic toys on December 25 this year, don’t get your knickers in a twist or throw them across the room (I’m talking about the toys, not the in-laws, though perhaps you’ll have the urge to throw them both).

Breathe. Control what you can control (e.g. the gifts you give your kids) and try again next year.

Use my strategy of ongoing, small conversations, and keep working at it in 2023.