Don't mention the flood!
It's comforting to know that for the women's mags there is still only one story out of America.
If you're an Angelina supporter you might want to buy the Woman's Day, which canonises the next Mrs Pitt for saving the baby of an Ethiopian rape victim.
If you are in Jennifer's camp, you could try the New Idea, which hangs her out to dry for adopting the baby of an Ethiopian rape victim. Ermm. Its the same story, just told slightly differently.
The Woman's Weekly has Brad playing dad to Angelina's kids. So what is going on in the Woman's Day, which shows Angelina hand in hand with Fugees frontman Wyclef Jean while Brad plays house dad?
Is she back to her old tricks? We'll have to wait till next week for it to be proved they're just old friends or something. Can we stand the suspense?
The boredom threshold is only alleviated by the before and after pics of people who were thin and are now fat, or were fat and now thin. The best before and after this week, Kelly Osbourne (thin-2-fat in the Day) excluded, is a local lass, and New Idea points out that blokes who read lad-mags might be better off with them this week.
They have excellent pics of TV host Julie White leaping about in a mint green bikini. Who would have thought that just three months ago she was clutching her fat rolls? Who would have thought she is only 36?
Speaking of age, who cannot feel for Kylie Minogue, who is battling cancer.
New Idea shows pictures of her gaunt, pale and "showing her age".
It goes without saying that she could take advantage of a piece inside, which says that 'as you age, your face and body go through many changes, but don't despair'.
The royals haven't been up to anything lately, a point the New Idea tries to get mileage out of with a piece saying Harry has come of age and has the world at his feet.
The Woman's Day makes a big deal out of the fact that Prince William got drunk. At a nightclub no less.
The Weekly says William couldn't have chosen a better prospective bride than Kate Middleton. Bring back Fergie from the toe-sucking days, all is forgiven.
Now, has the Woman's Day been trying since February to nail the details of the engagement of Mikey Havoc and Claire Chitham? Or have the loved-up couple been trying desperately since February to sell the tale to someone?
However it came about, the four-page spread about Havoc's unplanned proposal using a shell as a ring is not exactly news to anyone other than their mates.
It's all a bit tame really. So thank goodness for the Woman's Day for updating its story about the 31-year-old man who married the 70-year-old granny.
In the latest instalment we learn that Simon loves to dress up as "Sarah". All we need are some before and after pics. Luckily there are none.
Don't mention the flood!
It's comforting to know that for the women's mags there is still only one story out of America.
If you're an Angelina supporter you might want to buy the Woman's Day, which canonises the next Mrs Pitt for saving the baby of an Ethiopian rape victim.
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