Emmy Awards fail in attempt to be edgy

LOS ANGELES - Why is it so hard to understand that the running time for an awards show is finite?

It's like a packing box. Put in too many Styrofoam peanuts and too much plastic bubble wrap and there isn't enough room left for the stuff that's actually supposed to be in the box.

So it was with Sunday's sloppy Emmy telecast, packed so full of such useless distractions as a ridiculous "Emmy Idol" competition and irrelevant animated clips with "Family Guy" characters, that the substance of the show -- the business of honouring the best in TV and saluting the tradition of the medium -- was squeezed mercilessly. Before it came to its rushed conclusion, nominees were being announced before Emmy winners could leave the stage, cues were missed and reaction shots were delayed. So frequently did the banter of Emmy presenters suck the air out of the room that the dismal introductory remarks became the award show's only running gag.

"We had some cute stuff to say, but you all don't care about that," presenter Whoopi Goldberg said as the show nearly collapsed at the finish line.

After a disappointing ratings performance a year ago, exec producer Ken Ehrlich was encouraged to find a way to bring back the viewers, particularly younger ones.

But by inserting "Emmy Idol" and "Family Guy" moments, the show simply became more disjointed. One more year like this one and the joke made by Conan O'Brien about the Emmycast trailing the Golden Globes, Grammys and People's Choice Awards in importance might become prophecy.

The evening started hopefully enough with Earth Wind & Fire adapting their hit, "September," to reflect highlights of the last season. The veteran R&B group, joined by the Black Eyed Peas, created instant energy.

Ellen DeGeneres, who struck just the right note as host of the Emmy telecast following September 11, seemed more tentative Sunday night. After opening comments on the Hurricane Katrina disaster, she segued into generic jokes about winning and losing. And after that, she became less of a factor. From then on, her role consisted of making infrequent behind-the-scene appearances, each more abrupt and discombobulated than the next.

With each commercial break, the show became progressively more hurried. As a result, more time was allocated for clips of supporting actor nominations than for lead actor noms. And the most time of all was spent -- or, more accurately, wasted -- as entire casts made their way to the stage in more time than it took to produce the shows on which they worked. All the while, a split screen showed a distracting clip from the show that typically ended with a cut midsentence in one character's dialogue.

The featured highlights were David Letterman's salute to the late Johnny Carson and, later, a tribute to former network news anchors Dan Rather, Tom Brokaw and the late Peter Jennings. Letterman's words were heartfelt and touching, but considering the extensive coverage of Carson's career at the time of his death in January, the segment was longer than it needed to be. So, too, was the news anchor segment, with Rather and Brokaw taking turns at the mike as if a floor director was signaling them to stretch their comments.

There were a few scattered comments relating to world events, most notably Blythe Danner's call to get out of Iraq and a subtle yet unmistakable comment in which Jane Alexander praised the leadership of Franklin D. Roosevelt and his wife, Eleanor, "when our nation needed great leaders."

Among the many routine acceptance speeches -- most made at breakneck speeds -- were genuinely funny remarks by Brad Garrett, Mitch Hurwitz ("Arrested Development"), Jon Stewart and Phil Rosenthal ("Everybody Loves Raymond"). The most memorable acceptance moment, however, belonged to S. Epatha Merkerson ("Lackawanna Blues"), whose prepared remarks disappeared into the cleavage of her gown. "Oh, God, it's down there," she said, groping for the lost slip of paper. "My mother's watching, and she's going to die." If nothing else, it proved that, regardless of what goes wrong, there will always be something funny for the clip reel.

Host: Ellen DeGeneres

Executive producer: Ken Ehrlich; Producers: Renato Basile, Michael B. Seligman; Coordinating producer: Danette Herman; Director: Bruce Gowers; Head writer: David Wild; Writers: Ellen DeGeneres, Ken Ehrlich, Jon Macks, Karen Anderson, Doug Benson, Vance DeGeneres, Alex Herschlag, Karen Kilgariff, Jeff Stilson; Production designer: Steve Bass; Music director: Tom Scott; Editors: Brian Derby, Dave Gibrick, Deb Light, Karen Erickson.

- REUTERS