Linda Herrick: Waste of time and talent

The past couple of weeks have been refreshing for me. I've been in a country far, far away where there was no time, nor inclination, to look at the box. On the rare occasion I flopped on the hotel bed and pointed the remote, the only English-speaking channel was the BBC World News. All of the other channels were Spanish - gameshows, sports, re-runs of Xena and Hercules, and the spectacle of Michael Hurst and Kevin Sorbo shrieking and shouting in Espagnol. Multi-talented or what?

A couple of channels were German, which posed no problem when watching Psycho II starring Anthony Perkins and Dennis Franz. Madness, big knives and guttural dialogue needed no translation.

The BBC World Service became irritating because its news bulletins rotated between tourism ads for various airlines and countries, including a banal come-to-New Zealand promo which gave the impression Kiwis live in the mountains and spend their days climbing, canoeing and gathering shellfish. It was underscored by a drippy song droning on about "you've been waiting, you've been waiting too long". What a turn-off.

The only mention of New Zild on the BBC was a brief mention that Helen was back in with a minority coalition. The accompanying photo was not one of her best.

Back home, emerging from a jet-lag nap, I awoke to the news, on the news, that Judy Bailey was outski. Would any other country treat the dumping of a news-reader as a news bulletin, introduced by that very same presenter? Poor old Jude then had to front up on Close Up for a gentle inquisition (note the Spanish influence) by Mark Sainsbury. He was polite, she was polite; it was pure PR choreography.

On the plus side, Bailey's had a good run, she's had enough time to stash away some semi-retirement funds, and 18 years is a miracle in today's unstable environment at TVNZ. There is no doubt, however, she is taking the bullet for the bizarre machinations going on in the TVNZ newsroom, or, more accurately, for the programming and personnel decisions made by news and current affairs honcho Bill Ralston. He calls it evolving, not the word I've heard used by people who work there ...

But there is proof life goes on when news readers/current affairs reporters move off the rung. Look no further than So You Wanna Be a Popstar?, which I caught for the first time the night after the Bailey announcement.

And I will look no further, at this awful show. Louise Wallace, once an excellent reporter and more lately the fierce madam ruling The Weakest Link and Treasure Island, continues her apparently willing ritual humiliation here, which last week saw her in Nancy Sinatra mode, croaking out These Boots Were Made for Walkin. Lordy. She looked terrific but she cannot sing.

And then there's Ali Mau. Confined to Prime, there she was on Holmes, his new weekly show, which should be subtitled: "The Survivor". Ali, along with another survivor, Suzanne Paul, trotted along to meet two psychics who promised amazing insights.

Did she know someone whose name began with M? Ali's eyebrow rose. Did the month of October mean anything to her? Eyebrow, higher. All righty. How about her fear of sharp knives?

It may have been the jet lag. It may have been the dutyfree. Suddenly, I was having a Psycho II flashback and longing to sink a great big shiny knife into the screen - with accompanying shrieking music of course - and make my own personal protest at such widespread, stupid waste of our time and their talent. It makes me mad...