In the women's mags: Cats are fighting and All Black sex pix are missing

MIAOW! It's an all-out B-grade actress war in the women's mags this week.

New Idea has all the gory details of the marital battle between Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen - it involves sex, drugs, death and a restraining order - but the really juicy part is near the bottom of the story.

The magazine says Denise has been spotted canoodling with the former husband of best mate Heather Locklear.

That would be the Bon Jovi rocker Richie Sambora, who split with Heather in February after an 11-year marriage.

Apparently Denise and Richie were seen holding hands across the table and kissing at lunchtime, of all times, in a cafe.

Heather and Denise became best buddies when Heather started working with Charlie on the TV show Spin City, and are so close that Heather was at the baby shower for Denise's youngest child.

Ooooh. That's close.

The New Idea says, "It's not clear whether she knows about Denise's new romance but if it's meant to be a secret, it's not a very good one."

Woman's Day confirms this non-secret with a splash of kissy-lovey-dovey pictures of Denise and her best friend's husband.

Denise and Richie kissing at the cafe, Denise and Richie kissing on the beach, Denise and Richie kissing on the balcony of his house - you certainly get the impression there is something going on.

Woman's Day says that "friends" showed Heather the "steamy public smoochfest" pictures and she was immediately "shocked and heartbroken".

"Heather wants nothing more to do with Richie or Denise ever again. In her mind they're both dead."

The Woman's Weekly is also carrying the story, and adds to the furore with the fact that Heather has a new bloke anyway. He's David Spade, that short, hairy, creepy- looking man who is in various telly shows and the odd movie.

It seems their relationship is already very "hot and heavy", but luckily there are no pictures of that.

New Idea has a page devoted to another catfight over a bloke, this time its Liz Hurley vs Jemima Khan.

Apparently Liz isn't as happy for her ex Hugh Grant as she initially said she was, and has been telling anyone who will listen that Hugh won't marry Jemima and "didn't fancy skinny girls".

And she should know, being the big fat model that she is ...

Anyway, Jemima has won that particular battle and convinced Hugh to bow out of the film company he jointly ran with Liz.

A "friend" confided to the magazine that Jemima cottoned on to the fact Liz was using the company as an excuse to ring up Hugh for a chat all the time.

The Weekly devotes a few pages this week to the locally produced telly shows Dancing with the Stars and Top of the Class and even more pages to telly presenter Charlotte Dawson.

Apparently she celebrated her 40th birthday with a food fight and the revelation that she won't be having the implants removed from her breasts just yet, as she still has some telly shows to do and needs them.

In the Real Life Read section the Woman's Day has a scary read about a couple who had two sets of twins within a year, and a woman who became a "virgin" again for her husband because her bladder leaked during sex. And she hadn't even had one sets of twins.

The Day also has the little heartwarmer about league star-turned-boxer John Hopoate who will take part in the upcoming Fight For Life. He's obviously found that using his whole fist instead of just one finger can be much more rewarding.

And speaking of sports stars, New Idea's cover story features All Black Byron Kelleher and his partner, former successful porn star Ashley Spalding and their "secret pain". It's not actually a secret at all but a while ago Ashley lost her cellphone and whoever "found" it offered to sell the contents of it to a tabloid newspaper for $100,000.

That was because the contents included naked pictures and videos of the happy couple. But it seemed not even the tabloids wanted to see Byron like that, so the offer was declined and the person who "found" the cellphone disappeared without offering to hand it back to its rightful owner.

But as well as videos of the couple posing naked and having sex, the phone held the last video Ashley ever made of her beloved father, who recently died, and it is this irreplaceable footage that Ashley wants back.

The other shots are irrelevant, says the ex-porn star who gave up her career having sex last year to concentrate on just the one man.

"We're just a normal couple with a healthy sex life. If anyone had a problem with those [shots], I feel bad for their lives," she says.

Given her vast experience, the videos were probably more educational.