In the women's mags: Bumps and breakups steal show

Baby bumps - who has them and who's lost them - is the theme in Woman's Day this week while the Woman's Weekly has a darker focus, on depression, breakdowns and divorce.

The bump created by the Tomkat phenomena (that's Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to the uninitiated) is the most impressive - looking as if she had put a basketball under her shirt.

That could be because she's due to drop it anytime soon. But nothing has happened yet, despite Tom feeding the mum-to-be endless hot curries to bring the labour on.

As a new follower of the Scientology Tom embraces, Katie will have to give birth in silence and a quick consultation of the Scientology rule book clarifies that she is allowed to moan and cry but not speak any words. Neither is anyone else in the delivery suite so there will be no jumping on couches, yelling "Yes!" for Tom during the process.

Can't imagine Angelina Jolie bowing down to that nonsense as the birth of her child approaches.

Despite reports of Ange and Brad heading to Namibia and taking over a luxury resort as they prepare for the birth, the Day says they are struggling and have taken to sleeping in separate beds.

Apparently Brad is "uncomfortable" about having a child out of wedlock and is sick of living in "squalor" in their Paris apartment.

He wants to take the family back to LA and is about to put his foot down and start calling the shots. Just as soon as Ange lets him off the couch.

Ange's bump isn't very prominent despite being almost 8 months gone.

The Day is speculating on another couple of A-lister's potential bump's. Sarah Jessica Parker has been spotted in a "loose-fitting top" - a sure sign.

And Reese Witherspoon has been seen with a "suspicious bulge" which apparently wasn't there on the night of the Academy Awards last month. What could it be if not a baby? Perhaps she just had a big lunch.

The Weekly reveals another pregnant star has stunned New Yorkers but eating raw fish and drinking a beer in a swanky restaurant. Naughty Gwyneth Paltrow.

But babies aren't the big thing this week for the mag.

Its cover story is the formerly high-profile broadcaster Paul Holmes, who reveals exclusively that he is now "quite happy to have even one person watching" his telly show.

He's suffered a lot in recent years with cancer, marital issues, the odd show being cancelled and whatnot, and now he's pleased to be slowing down a bit.

The Weekly tells us Paul believes his deep unhappiness and stressful life contributed to his cancer and he credits his wife, Deborah, for "pulling him out of the pit".

He's not just given up the stress of a daily telly show but also his affair with aviation.

Deborah had already put the kibosh on flying his vintage plane because he kept crash-landing it. Now Paul is putting his model radio-controlled plane on Trade Me for sale after almost cutting his finger off on the propeller while trying to start it.

Phew. Looks like things will be a lot less stressful for Paul from now on.

The Weekly can also confirm that Rachel Hunter's divorce is finally through after she and ancient rocker Rod Stewart reached a settlement.

She expects he will provide for their children, of course, but drew the line at taking any of his gazillion dollar worth, and will keep working to support herself. Good on ya, Rach. That's the Glenfield spirit.