Entertainment picks: Please, no more sappy R&B

NZ Idol judges, Paul Ellis, Frankie Stevens and Jackie Clarke.

TV

This year's Idol hopefuls are better than the guinea pigs from last year. But one thing they need to work on is their song choice. And it's not just for their sake, either. What about us? We want to be entertained.

Rongo, you're 17-years-old and singing the Carpenters? Come on bro'. You got away with it, and good on you for getting into the final 10. But the bumbling "baby, baby, baby ... " bit was bad.

And a limit - no, a ban - should be put on the number of sappy R&B songs being chosen. Yes, that Whitney song really brings out your vocal gymnastic ability. Lovely. But when it goes wrong, it's like the guy who missed the spring board and bent himself round the vault.

I know it's early days in the competition and the contestants have to bear a lot in mind when choosing a song, including how it suits their voice and what mood they want. But, for our sakes, you final 10 should think about it like Nirvana's Kurt Cobain may have. He said it best in Smells Like Teen Spirit when he howled: "Here we are now, entertain us."

Tonight on NZ Idol at 8pm the winner of the wildcard competition is revealed and the final 10 will be complete. Then, on Sunday at 7.30pm, see the final 10 perform in a 90-minute special.

Meanwhile, starting on TV this week is Simple Life 3: Interns (TV3, 8pm, Thursday) starring celebrity brats Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Enough said really, although in this series they take on real jobs (mail sorter, mechanic and so on) and during filming they had a falling out because Nicole had a public screening of "that" Paris video. Fingers crossed they don't kiss and make up, then we won't get Simple Life 4.

If you missed the first series of Kath and Kim, TV3 is replaying it, starting on Thursday at 7.30pm. And TV One has a new series of Parkinson (8.30pm, Saturdays).

Finally, John Safran (C4, 9.30pm, Tuesday) takes out sweet revenge on some door-knocking Mormons - don't say you never wanted to.

Movies

Kevin Bacon plays a beauty salon boss in one movie opening this week and a heterosexual paedophile in another. Ever since Footloose we've always known he's a great actor, but this is extreme.

In the comedy Beauty Shop, Bacon plays a boss detested by an employee (Queen Latifah). So, she quits, opens a shop of her own, and a fierce rivalry between the two ensues.

In contrast, The Woodsman (one of several festival films returning on general release in the coming weeks) is a psychological thriller about Walter (Bacon), a paedophile who has returned to his hometown after 12 years in prison.

Walter not only fears the process of fitting back into the community but he is also terrified of reoffending. That is until strong-willed Vickie (played by Bacon's real-life partner, Kyra Sedgwick) offers him some hope of normality.

Also starting on Thursday is The Skeleton Key starring Kate Hudson. Playing a live-in nurse who cares for an old man living in a run-down mansion outside of New Orleans, Hudson begins to explore the house using a skeleton key that unlocks every door. Guess what's in the attic? Something bloody scary, no doubt.

Theatre

Warning: the play I'm about to recommend contains greed, hate, love (sometimes), phobias, violence, nudity and lots of porn. My Brother and I Are Porn Stars starts at the Silo Theatre on Wednesday.

Starring Jonathan Brugh (you'll know him best as part of comedy duo Sugar & Spice) and Jackie van Beek (from last year's Silo production Mr Kolpert), it follows what happens when a brother and a sister are left to their own devices when their parents disappear.

But wait, what happens when they take over their parents' porn business as well? Lots of porn, nudity, violence, phobias, (sometimes) love, hate and greed, of course.

Music

And it's all a bit rude on the music front this week, too. First up, a brief word about something at the Kings Arms Tavern on Saturday. What image does the Sorecocks and Spreadmouth playing a gig together conjure up? Charming. Get them a room.

Before that, on Wednesday at the Dogs Bollix, we have Aussie band Dropped At Birth, with music that "cuts your face apart". DAB - as they are affectionately known to their mates - will be supported by locals Missing Teeth and the Demi-Whores.

Definitely a show to check out is Perth drum'n'bass trio Pendulum, at 4:20 on K Rd this Friday. Their name suits their swingin', playful and heavy style of drum'n'bass but they don't just play it straight, with pop influences bashing their way through, too.

Other gigs include the Batchelorette EP release party (Odeon Lounge, Mt Eden Rd, Friday), Kitsch (an album release tour show at the Masonic Tavern, Devonport, Friday), and Tadpole, with Autozamm and Stoods (Stampede, Auckland, Saturday).

Exhibitions

If there's one thing you have to see this week it's the 13 dead rabbits - some cute, some not so cute - at Michael Lett Gallery at 478 Karangahape Rd in Auckland. The art work, entitled Driving Mr Albert, by New Zealand artist Michael Parekowhai, features the rabbits sitting on columns that are painted in the colours of those Cuisenaire rods that I used to use in maths class at primary school.

A must-see before it finishes on Saturday.