Entertainment Picks: A beached whale of a time

TV
Just when you thought Intrepid Journeys was getting a bit Getaway (what with Trelise Cooper poncing around the Turkish men smothered in aphrodisiac), sports reporter John McBeth has a beached whale of a time in Venezuela. Cue tarantulas, a fatal car crash, a hair-raising plane trip and a serious tummy bug just before an eight-hour bus ride.

"I got the feeling that someone had said 'I will put something in this Gringo's food that will make him [expletive] for a week,"' says McBeth. Which kinda puts that rainy trip to the Gold Coast in perspective.

Equally intrepid reporter Donal MacIntyre takes his hidden cameras and ego to delve into the sordid world of prostitution in MacIntyre Investigates - Trafficking (TV3, Thursday, 8.30pm). This time he infiltrates the world of the Albanian mafia, which police believe is responsible for trafficking prostitutes to Britain every year.

And the interesting docos just keep coming. Commemorating 25 years since John Lennon's death, Imagine: John Lennon (Prime, Tuesday, 8.30pm), has the musician and activist narrating his life story through film taken from his and Yoko Ono's private collection.

Music fans will also appreciate Resistencia: Hip-Hop in Columbia (Maori TV, Friday, 8.30pm), an insight into Columbia, where 50 Cent's knuckle rings and bedroom talk would be scoffed at by those who rap about their country's political unrest, violence and drug trade.

Also this week: part one of two The Office Specials (TV One, Friday, 8.30pm), a catch-up with the folk of Wernham Hogg. David Brent has blown his redundancy settlement on his single, and now makes his living selling cleaning products door-to-door and annoying his former employees.

Tonight is your last chance to catch great local drama The Market (TV2, 10.30pm), Shameless (Prime, 9.45pm) and The L Word (TV2, 11.25pm). But saddest goodbye of the week goes to Veronica Mars (TV2, Friday, 7.30pm), an episode in which she not only discovers who killed her best friend but who her real father is.

Movies
There's no topping the fact we're getting the choice of two of this year's biggest films, Narnia and King Kong (opening next week). Unless of course you hate lions and gorillas.

What's the alternative? Dogs and turtles. Diane Lane stars in Must Love Dogs, where her sister tries to pimp her out on the internet while potentially courting bestiality freaks.

At least Turtles Can Fly (Academy from Thursday) sounds promising. Iranian director-writer Bahman Ghobadi tells a compelling story of the realities of Kurdish children and teenagers living in a camp near the border between Iraq and Turkey on the eve of the American invasion of 2003. Heavy stuff but told in a touching, sometimes humorous way, say critics.

Theatre
Unless you're Tara Reid, waking up next to an unfamiliar face in the morning isn't the best way to start the day. But writer-director Colin Mitchell knows it makes for a great yarn, and returns to the theatre with Sex with Strangers - Second Edition (Herald Theatre, Wednesday to December 17.)

The new work brings last year's writing team of Jodie Molloy, Jacques Strauss and Mario Gaoa together with actors Danielle Cormack and Peter Cox (Insider's Guide To Happiness) in this amusing look at the way people react differently to a night of passion with someone they don't know. The cast of 12 also includes Kip Chapman, Fleur Saville, Antony Starr and Jennifer Ward-Lealand. Bookings at Ticketek.

Music
Go get a Kiwi tattooed on your butt or something, because it's a ripper of a New Zealand music week. Rhombus play the Studio on Thursday with guests the Feelstyle, Submariner, Sunshine Soundsystem, Urban Notion and Koile; the following night it's OpShop with Gramsci, Autozamm and Motorcade.

Caitlin Smith performs with guests Nick Smith and Fiona McGeough at the Odeon Lounge on Thursday; Katchafire play the Safari Lounge on Friday; Ryan McPhun and the Ruby Suns play the Odeon on Saturday and Ladi 6 is at Tabac on Saturday with Manuel Bundy. Greg Johnson and Nathan King attempt to inject some cool into Christmas in the Park, Saturday at the Domain.

Social
Won't bore you with the details of our Christmas party comings and goings - there's at least two we've been invited to - but if you're craving a bit of pre-Santa excitement, head to the premiere of Andrew Adamson's The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Adamson himself can't make it, what with the London premiere the night before. But it should still be a big, red-carpet spectacle at the Civic on Thursday night. May the best centaur impersonator win.