Comedy Q&A: Andrew McClelland

Andrew McClelland

Why should we see your show?

Because it is absolutely the best comic faux-university lecture about pirates in this year's comedy festival. Honestly.

Tell us a joke in 25 words or less. 

You write us an incisive piece of journalism in 25 words or less first ...

What makes you laugh out loud?

Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho. Brilliant slapstick.

What's the worst line you've delivered?

What does a pirate wear under his britches? A: Plunderpants. First joke I ever wrote and still my best/worst joke.

What keeps you awake at night?

Nothing. I'm an irredeemable drunkard and general layabout ne'er do well. 

What were you like as a child?

Paranoid. What were you like as a child? Huh! 

When were you last embarrassed?

When I won an all-you-can eat competition at a Korean BBQ. I suddenly realised that there's nothing cool about eating four pounds of ox tongue for purely competitive reasons. Especially when my prize was a pizza because I beat the guy that owned the pizza shop.

Without looking it up, give us a scientific explanation of laughter.

Science?! Bah! Don't go in for science. I'll go for the religious definition. It's the devil trying to escape from the pit of your sinning stomach because he can't take the joy, fatso!

If you weren't a comedian you would be ... ?

A high school teacher. It's like stand-up but with more heckling and less reward. Either that or the new Pope. I quite like bread, wine and Rome. And people say celibacy is tough? Ha! Millions go through life celibate by accident. I could take it for the free dental insurance and the chance to kiss airport runways the world over.

Who: Andrew McClelland
What: Somewhat Accurate History of Pirates 1550-2017
When & where: Playhouse Comedy Underground, Tuesday May 10-14, 7pm Tickets: Adults $20; conc (Tues-Thurs only), groups $16 from Ticketek
Show duration: One hour