KEY POINTS:
Look at her! What is she wearing? Actually, what was she thinking? He looks amazing - but check out those socks! Good Lord!
Yes, no doubt, the social pages have been responsible for many a heated discussion around your breakfast table on a sunny Sunday morning too. And the online social pages have always been responsible for an excessive amount of enthusiasm from seasoned frock watchers.
But it turns out that New Zealand's relatively newly minted social pages and online style diaries may also be responsible for something else. Something rather unexpected. It turns out that people are dressing up more - and more - just because they know that a social photographer is going to be present.
It's true, confirms the Herald on Sunday's Rachel Glucina, who's out and about most weeknights, collecting information and pictures for her weekly column.
"People may not admit to dressing up for the social pages - or hell, they may not even be able to rationalise it consciously - but I can honestly tell you that since I started my column 2 years ago, the standard of dress at social functions - for men and women - has improved dramatically," Glucina says. "And with that, so has their inclination to be snapped. So without sounding like a wanker, I do believe people are dressing up more when they go out, in the hope they will be snapped."
Sometimes, Glucina says, the photographic subjects are so prepared to pose, they'll even volunteer the name of the designer outfit they're wearing before anyone has asked for it. And another observer recalls seeing one woman who insisted the social photographer take her picture, oh, about 20 times before she was satisfied he had got her best angle.
Meanwhile the canny Cathy Campbell, who runs her own public relations agency specialising in luxury and lifestyle brands and who is responsible for organising some of the more glamorous, Champagne-fuelled events in Auckland, is not yet quite sure whether it's life in the big smoke that has folks getting more dressed up - or whether it's the proliferation of social page snappers. "People seem to know it goes with the territory and adds to the theatre of an event, if they frock up," she explains. "But I think it works both ways - because you also have the low key people, who dress in an understated way, who don't want to be snapped."
Campbell does know, though, that Auckland locals are more image-conscious than folks in other parts of the country. And she says that these days her company is often asked whether social pages photographers are coming to an event too. "More and more people call now asking for guidance on what they should wear to an event as they don't want to get it wrong." And, Campbell notes, this didn't happen before.
And just as the public are more aware of the fact that they might get their picture taken when they're out at night, so are local fashion designers.
"Designers definitely want their clothes to be seen in my social pages but whether they would admit that is another matter", Glucina reports. "Designers are not fools. They know if their dress is seen on the back of someone famous in Spy in the Herald on Sunday with 400,000 readers each week, it is an advertisement for their brand without appearing as a direct advertorial.
"And", Glucina continues, "there are definitely some occasions where people are dressed to be photographed. Without naming names and embarrassing anyone, I have often been approached, either directly or indirectly, by celebrities at parties who've borrowed outfits from designers to wear to that event on the condition that they get photographed." And this ambitious social pages correspondent doesn't mind at all. "It's a win-win", she explains. "The celeb looks gorgeous and the designer gets mileage."
So does this mean that if you wear really fancy outfits to the right gigs - the ones where social photographers are lurking - you too could become, well, at least a minor celebrity in New Zealand?
British magazine Harper's Bazaar, put this theory to the test. They sent one of their cutest reporters over to New York with a suitcase, or three, full of designer outfits. The reporter was to take a false, posh name, dress like a star and try to become "somebody" on the New York social scene, simply by getting her picture published on all the right social pages.
Hilariously the magazine's plan worked. As one American commentator on the story that eventually appeared in Harper's Bazaar noted afterwards, it could not have happened anywhere else. In London, or Boston, socialites know who is who and would have rumbled the pretender immediately. But in New York society, "fashion is destiny," as is cold, hard cash. So the more expensive your outfits the more important you must be. And the Harper's writer's, borrowed directly from the biggest names, certainly were.
These days, one suspects, the same thing could happen here in Auckland. As one socialite, who prefers to remain anonymous, tells it, "we heard of a group of girls who held a party purely for the purpose of getting into the social pages. They planned outfits and invited a social pages connection to come along. And they succeeded in getting their pictures in the paper," she laughs. "Apparently the picture was then hung in a frame, in the lounge, for all to see. Appearing in the social pages is the Holy Grail for some people!"
And while there are certainly several Aucklanders vying for celebrity status purely through their appearances in the social pages, the one individual that almost all social page regulars mention is Gilda Kirkpatrick.
Tales of her buying complete designer outfits, at the cost of tens of thousands, just to attend designer store openings are legendary and barely a week goes by without her face appearing in the paper.
"Gilda Kirkpatrick is someone who's frequently snapped in Spy," Glucina says. "Largely because she will always be wearing some fascinating outfit, from a stupendously expensive Dior ball dress to provocative thigh-high stockings and a sexy mini skirt. Some Spy readers used to email in commenting on Gilda's clothes."
"Definitely Gilda!," exclaims another media commentator, also an avid observer of the social pages. "A lot of people now only know who she is because she's always in the social pages. Why? Because she wears clothes that few New Zealanders can afford - so there's an air of celebrity about her. She's known for attending parties in fabulous clothes and people now look out for what she is wearing."
And, continues this wag, it's not just over-the-top fashion that gets your picture in the paper. "If you are not well known, it seems to be the slinkier, or more outrageous, or more unique the outfit, the higher the chance you have of being snapped. But that really depends on the event. And you just have to look at the proliferation of theatrical behaviour or fancy dress on the social websites to see what people will do to get attention - everything from naughty nurses to girls kissing each other!"
So yes, it does seem to be that the proliferation of social pages of all kinds, whether online or in the newspapers, is encouraging a lot of up-frocking these days. And yes, it seems that you can achieve some sort of minor celebrity if you get your picture in the paper frequently enough.
But what does it mean for everyone else? Slag it all off if you want but psychologists say sharing gossip helps to "facilitate social bonds" and encourages trust and intimacy. And, hey, whether you believe that or not, if it gives the rest of us something funny, glamorous, amusing or controversial to add to our list of guilty Sunday morning pleasures, then so be it.
Want to get your picture in the paper? Here's how&
* Dress up! If you can afford it. Or if you can borrow the latest threads from your designer mates, then good on you. But it doesn't have to be designer fashion. Brighter, bolder colours work best - especially when they're printed up on newsprint. A whole bunch of black dresses end up looking like a black blob. Also worth bearing in mind is that a lot of the social photographers are just newspaper guys. A nicely co-ordinated outfit and a pretty hairstyle will often do the trick.
* Smile nicely. A social photographer's job is not always fun. For every person that agrees to have their picture taken, there are four people who didn't. So be sure to stand within their view, smiling nicely and looking approachable.
* Put your best foot forward. Besides being agreeable and friendly, learn to pose nicely. Give them your name politely. Feel free to ask to see the back of the digital camera just to make sure you don't look a total ning-nong but don't insist on 20 different angles either. If you make life easy for them, it's quite possible the photographer will be back for more next time you meet.
* Get attention. This can involve anything from wearing an outrageous hat or outfit to showing some cleavage to pashing up your girlfriends to pouting like an idiot. Animated poseurs make for better pictures, and these are more likely to be published.
* Know your photographers. Learn who the photographers are and who they work for because they will be looking for different things in their victims. Some want high fashion looks, some want indie hipsters, others are happy with a well-endowed blonde in a low-cut top! And avoid the unfriendly mags that just want pictures of your lips scrunched up, about to toss back the last of your cocktail at all costs.
* Go to everything. In fact, dress up and go to the sorts of events nobody else vaguely interesting would go to. This raises your chances of having your picture taken. Make sure the social photographers are going to be there first though.
* Make friends. with famous people, politicians, sports stars or Shortland Street actors. Then stand close to them at the start of the evening when the photographers are usually looking for victims.
* Get there early. Quite often the social pages reporters are only there for half an hour at the start of an event before they dash off to the next party - or possibly home for a cup of tea and a lie down.
* Be a host or a sponsor. Throw your own extremely glamorous party complete with fast cars, fast women and lashings of Champagne. Because no matter how daggy the hosts or sponsors look compared to all the beautiful people, they are always photographed. Such are the rules of this game.
