Dr Amabel Hunting: Handmade gifts a return to spirit of Christmas

Photo / Thinkstock

A few years ago I had a family Christmas where our tree toppled over because of the number of presents stuffed into it.

With sustainability and financial interests in mind, I suggested the adults could forgo presents the next year and focus on food and company instead.

I was met with a barrage of anger, conjecture and accusations of boycotting Christmas. This raised the question of how to celebrate Christmas without engaging in excessive consumption while avoiding potential relationship landmines.

Giving is a distinctly human trait and a foundation of social relationships. The ritual involves three stages where the relationship between the giver and receiver is re-evaluated.

First there is the gestation stage where we are motivated to find the right gift. Then comes the presentation stage where the gift is wrapped and the exchange becomes a ceremony that reflects the meaning of that person to the giver.

The last stage is reformulation as the bond between two people is readjusted to reflect this new relationship.

Most of us are likely to have had the experience of buying the wrong gift or not spending the same amount and the unfortunate repercussions. This makes the selection of a gift a highly charged process that is less about the tangible value than its symbolic meaning.

We have the Victorians to thank for the way we celebrate Christmas today.

In the 17th century, the English Puritan Government banned celebration, believing prayer and reflection was the only way to mark the day. It wasn't until the 19th century that Queen Victoria revived the tradition, adopting German customs so her husband, Prince Albert, would feel more at home. With a focus on family and being grateful, the traditions of a feast, tree and gift-giving became integral parts of the celebration.

Festivities have moved away from the focus on gratitude to growing materialism.

How can one decouple oneself from the obligation of gift-giving without alienating relatives and while remaining true to the Christmas spirit?

One solution has been charitable giving, such as the purchase of a goat for a family in Papua New Guinea. Some givers find that while their conscience is satisfied, the receiver often feels cheated because they don't receive anything.

Another alternative is the emerging trend of people making personalised gifts by hand. The true value has shifted from the money spent to the time taken.

It's the modern equivalent of the sacred object. If time is our most valuable commodity, a premium is placed on a normally time-poor person creating something personal.

Unsurprisingly, research has found that givers as well as receivers see these objects as better than bought items.

So if you're feeling pressure to buy a gift, consider making it instead. This may not be for everyone, but it emulates a desire to get back to what Christmas giving was about: being grateful and celebrating the loved ones in our lives.

Dr Amabel Hunting is a professional teaching fellow with the department of marketing at the University of Auckland Business School.