• Warning: do not try at home.
via GIPHY
1. Be liberal with compliments
During Perry's lucky encounter, Trump called her over by saying: "Go ahead. Come here, come here. Where are you from? We have all of this beautiful Irish press [here]."
Note the sultry repetition of "come here", the natural inquisition ("where are you from?") and the compliment on her appearance.
It's a classic triptych, I think we can all agree and it elicited a smile (or was that a grimace?) from Perry. Trump's next move is to speak as if she's not in the room.
"She has a nice smile on her face so I bet she treats you well," he tells Varadkar over the phone, who at this point is probably just thrilled he isn't using Facetime.
What woman could fail to be charmed? We await the next time Trump compliments a male reporter on his smile.
2. Be cheeky
By his standards, Trump was being polite to Perry. A clip emerged last month of the New Yorker's halcyon pre-Presidential years - when he was merely a rich man and future reality television star.
In the footage, from 2000, Trump is interviewed at an awards ceremony by Emma Bunton and Victoria Beckham of the Spice Girls. Upon meeting them, he immediately peers around and seems to compliment Bunton's body. The cheeky chappy.
"Donald!" she shouts, before covering her cleavage and turning away. Trump just smirks, and in the background his then girlfriend, Melania, watches on and practices the interior eye roll she will go on to perform thousands and thousands of times.
3. Be "tactile"
There is little doubt that Trump is a man for whom personal space is not a factor, as he told Billy Bush on that infamous leaked Access Hollywood tape.
There was the hand-holding with Theresa May; the attempted (and denied) hand-holding with his wife; the hugs with all who'll accept them; and, of course, those photographs with Ivanka, who he previously joked he would "date" if she "weren't his daughter".
Tiny handed high five.
4. Become a social media strongman
If there's one thing women love, The Donald seems to think, it's a man who is willing to defend them in 140 characters. Outside of that? Probably not.
In 2012, he tweeted directly at Katy Perry to warn her about John Mayer ("he dates and tells"), which was kind and protective of him. Mayer and Perry broke up soon afterwards.
Two years later, and Trump was messaging Perry again, to question her decision to marry Russell Brand. Four times, he tweeted her. Perry and Brand had just divorced.
Arguably it, this is what's known as "the long game": work on becoming somebody's friend, go slowly, offer supportive words, and romantic love will eventually flourish.
5. Flirt with disaster - all the time
What is sexier than a dangerous man? Right ladies? It works for James Bond, so why shouldn't it work for another jet-setting international playboy?
Trump has the biggest bomb in the world, the mightiest military and probably the biggest office. Yet, he's being 'investigated for a possible obstruction of justice', has the worst approval ratings of any President and is now officially disliked by 37 nations around the world.
Meanwhile, hopefully-written articles predicting his impeachment are produced daily, which is a fire the Trump administration seems happy to feed with fresh chaos as regularly as it can.
So he is always an inch from it all crashing down, but still he remains in tact, treating us mean and keeping us keen. Truly, it's like he's flirting with the entire world.
