Dollars for doodles

An Auckland school is using its noodle, raising cash with doodles. GILBERT WONG, arts editor, has a sneak preview of the results.

Give celebrities an itch and see where they scratch. That's the intriguing idea behind the two-minute doodle auction.

Inner-city Auckland school Ponsonby Primary doesn't have a school hall. It needs $250,000 to build one and rather than contemplate a calendar of cake stalls and gala days stretching until the next millennium, the school's parents' fundraising committee has hatched a plot that cleverly panders to the fascination we have for celebrities.

The calls and approaches have gone out to the great, the good and the merely famous to contribute a doodle. Not art, but the sort of thing you scrawl on a 1B exercise book during maths class on a hot summer afternoon for a couple of minutes of distraction.

The only instructions that came with the blank piece of cartridge paper and calligraphy pen sent out were for the celebrity to put down on paper something they were passionate about - a phrase, a word or an image and to sign the result.

Arts on Monday gained a sneak preview of the celebrity doodles completed to date. The selection will have pop psychologists delighted at the chance to put the famous on the couch. Trite observations aside, a drawing honestly done can reveal more about a person than can be gleaned from the most direct questioning. As the sculptor Barbara Hepworth once said, "I rarely draw what I see - I draw what I feel in my body."

Joan Collins, the grande dame of Dynasty and British sex symbol, kept a low profile while filming in Auckland last month. She did take the time to sketch a flamboyant self-portrait, dominated by what have arguably been her finest assets, beautiful eyes with lascivious fluttering lashes. Her doodle was sealed with a kiss from her still full lips, acknowledgement that her face has been her fortune.

In a career and life played out on television nightly, it was no surprise to see that Paul Holmes decided to draw himself on the box, trying to calm an agitated Dennis Conner, a moment in television history few can forget and one that the broadcaster clearly cherishes for the notoriety it immediately gave him.

The bet is that musician Dave Dobbyn must have been one of those teenagers who slept with his guitar. His stylised doodle shows a graceful confident line and strong graphic impact. When a colleague sighted the doodle, she said it was a phallic symbol. But, considering Dobbyn's guitar mastery and the fact that he has penned some of the country's finest rock anthems, it's safer to say that sometimes a guitar is just a guitar. No self-portrait here. We know him by his songs.

Prime Minister Helen Clark might be the consummate politician, but she should stick to that, judging by her scrawly rendition of the Beehive. Our first elected woman prime minister shows her focus is on the seat of power. The question is whether the pair of irritating buzzy bees are named Bunkle and Hobbs.

Fashion designer Karen Walker's flair is self-evident. Her cut-out doll's figure adorned with scraps from her workspace might even be a work in progress. Are swans the new black?

For two-minute doodle co-organiser Louise Fleming, the most poignant contribution arrived from Bert Sutcliffe, whose funeral filled Eden Park last week. The former batsman was fighting the illness that would claim his life, but he took the time to draw a bat and ball and inscribe the words, "It's a great game. No one, not even the legendary Sir Donald Bradman has completely conquered."

Fleming: "We were very moved when we received it and it says a lot about his character that Bert Sutcliffe took the time to help us out."

So far the school has collected more than a dozen doodles, and hopes to reach its target of 50 before the auction next month or early June. It has a wish list of big names it hopes will attract international attention, including Monica Lewinsky, Tom Cruise and Sir Paul McCartney. But the name it really wants is Nelson Mandela. Now that doodle would be something to see.

* Check Ponsprim for details