2 To be emotionally free, you need to accept intuition is not "woo-woo". The intellect, stunningly incisive as it might be, is restricted when it comes to emotions. Harvard researchers have linked the overall capacity for intuition to the basal ganglia, a part of the brain that informs us something's not right and we better act on it. Does that sound science-y enough? Or maybe Yeats said it better: "We can't articulate the truth but we can embody it."
3 Thoughts are not necessarily true. Just because you think or feel something doesn't mean it is right. Don't trust what you think. This revelation changed my life.
4If you have a harsh, judgmental, obnoxious internal voice (Mine is a total bitch. "You are useless", "You're not worthy of love") you might have to make friends with her. If you recognise and love that vulnerable part of yourself, her voice may become gentler. Also, refer to point 2.
5 When your kids are happy at school, that is pretty much all that matters. When my kids trot off happily to school in the morning - my daughter sings to terrible songs on ZM and we joke about my son's funny sayings ("Off with your ear!" "The triceratops is weakest so he needs some love.") I feel everything is right with the world. The single thing I achieved last year is that my son, who used to hate school and be unhappy, now cheerfully goes to an amazing and unusual place of learning, where he feels accepted. I probably shouldn't tell you any more about it or everyone would want to go there.
6 Life doesn't turn out how you thought it would. Once you work this out, everything gets a lot better.
7 C'est le courage qui compte. It's the courage that counts.
8 I have recently realised I can't handle crowds. Maybe crowds activate my HPA (hypothalamic pituitary adrenal) axis, the hormones that control reactions to stress and the fight-or-flight response. We had to leave the Eagles after three songs. And we don't talk about the debacle of the Joe Cocker concert. (Strangely I managed Neil Young and Nick Cave fine.)
9 The world would be better if we all sat around in our magic undies eating chocolate mud cake.
10 When I stopped drinking I stopped snoring. (Apparently). I've started drinking a bit again, but still, sometimes not.
11 Be nice to yourself as deprivation tends not to catalyse but to degrade productivity. Andrew Solomon: "I was at war with myself and dug terrible wounds into my own psyche." See point 3.
12 Practise making quick, even immediate decisions where wrong decisions are inevitable. Realise you cannot protect yourself from ego demolition.
13 There is no point waiting for someone to come along and validate you.
14 Beware of "groupidity" - doing something stupid because other people seem to think it's a good idea.
15 I have only recently become aware I have a tendency to create dramas because I find reality quite boring. But I have also become aware that if one can tolerate some boring reality it is actually pretty good. (I've quoted this before because it is my favourite: TS Eliot: Humankind cannot bear very much reality.)
