KEY POINTS:
Fashion designer Denise L'Estrange-Corbet and her daughter Pebbles answer your agonising questions
Q. I have found my new neighbour in my garden quite a few times, retrieving his dog's ball. He just climbs the fence. I have asked him not to come on to my property but he takes no notice.
Denise says:What does he think the fence is, a jungle gym? Explain to the simpleton that it is there to tell you the boundaries of your property, and to keep pesky neighbours in their own little space - not in yours.
If you wanted him in your garden, you would invite him over. I would be inclined to tell him that if you see him in your garden again, you will have an electric fence fitted and watch him light up like a Christmas tree every time he tries to come over. Alternatively, you could put barbed wire along the top so his clothes would resemble those of an island castaway if he attempted to come over again - he should get the message.
Pebbles says: Get a huge trench under the fence and fill it with barbed wire or mounds of compost. Don't mention it again, and if he chooses to climb over, it's his problem. If he complains, saying you did it on purpose, blame it on gardening developers and maybe suggest he get aiming and catching lessons for him and his dog.