ENVY
When you were sick, did you envy healthy people?
Yeah, you'd hear people complaining about something minor like, it's raining, and think, "I wish that was all I had to worry about". I think a lot of people go through life looking for happiness, but I think what you're really looking for is meaning.
Now that you are in remission are you still acutely aware of what's important and what's not?
Oh, big time. I don't get particularly stressed about anything now, actually. You realise that life most of the time is really good. If I get frustrated it's because I see people creating versions of reality that are not necessarily the truth. My son Toby, who is a wonderful young man, will go to school all grumpy and mopey and at the end of the day I'll ask him how it was and he'll say it was rubbish and I'll say, "you got exactly what you wished for. You could have chosen to have a great day." I think a lot of people go through life choosing a negative approach and when you have something that is seriously, objectively terrible, like my cancer, you realise that you always have things that you can concentrate on that are positive and good.
LUST
Why did you choose lust?
It's about my lust for life - we should relish the fact that we can walk around and talk to each other and eat nice food. I have gone back to work but now I work three days a week, cos I have a really great boss, and the other four, I do things that make me happy. I am advising a company that is trying to grow, which I like, and working with a charity and finishing off my book. Unfortunately, I am doing twice as much as I ever did for about two-thirds of the money but the cliche is true, you realise every opportunity you have is really precious and you should make the most of it. Some people, including me, have to go through some life-threatening experience to realise that life is for living and I'm just loving it.
Has your bucket list changed?
I had always wanted to do the bike trails in the South Island and we did that last year. But instead of climbing mountains or visiting Antarctica, it's more about doing things that have a greater meaning. I am an ambassador for the Malaghan Institute, which is working to bring the CAR T-cell treatment that I had to New Zealand. I do public speaking and explain how the treatment worked for me and help with fundraising. I get frustrated if I think that there is treatment available and people are sitting on piles of cash and are not helping others. - Eleanor Black
*David Downs and Willy de Wit feature in the documentary In My Mind on TVNZ1, June 23, 11am.