Here is one question that pops up again and again with the regularity of Prince Andrew’s pitiful comeback attempts: Should we feel sorry for Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, a man who these days seems largely cut off from his family, homeland and good sense?
On one hand, he was, by his own telling, dealt a bit of a bum deal, hard done by his family, by the British press and by the quirk of fate that lumped him as a regal understudy.
On the other, he has a whopping house, married the most glamorous woman he ever dated (with apologies to scrunchie-lover Cressy) and has supposedly millions of dollars flowing into his bank account, all while knowing he is never going to be sent to Hull to open a new sports shed or some such.
The puzzler, “Harry: Victim or self-centred ding dong?” has become one of the biggest cultural Rorschach tests of our time.
But just when you thought it was safe to form an opinion either way on the Duke, the Mail on Sunday has popped up to reveal a truly sad revelation about Montecito’s number one purchaser of high SPF sunscreen and Mad magazine.
While Harry might these days rub shoulders with the sorts of stars who earn millions selling shapewear, now Mail editor-at-large Charlotte Griffith has claimed the 38-year-old does not seem to have that many British friends these days.
Griffiths reports that when Harry flies in for his father King Charles’ coronation next month, suit neatly pressed and a small handful of protective crystals ready to be deployed, it will be for what sounds like a drive-by transatlantic trip.
According to the Mail, Harry himself has been “describing [the trip] as an ‘in-and-out job’,” and the Mach-five velocity of the stopover “will not allow him to catch up with that one-time inner core of UK-based friends, which now numbers only around six people”.
You don’t have to be a hardcore Sussex fan, who thinks they can do no wrong and are forever perplexed why Pope Francis hasn’t begun their beatification process, to feel a twinge of sympathy here for Aitch here.
The Harry of his single days was a man who seemed permanently surrounded by a gaggle of Hooray Henry-types permanently up for drinkies at Boujis and keen to spend their weekends killing small birds. What a laugh!
Harry’s father might have been off scribbling diatribes about the Tate Modern or accepting plastic bags full of millions of dollars of cash from a Qatari sheikh for his charity and a brother so busy playing bourgeois house and learning how to make a decent osso bucco he no longer had much time for him, but the Army captain always had his friends.
They included Tom “Skippy” Inskip and Charlie and Thomas Straubanzee – boys Aitch had known since prep school when he, like generations of upper-crust kids, was shunted off to boarding school at the tender age of 8. (Year two kids living away from home? Seems fine …)
They were intensely loyal, discreet, and probably knew how to organise a decent lock-in.
However, at some point, clearly something changed for Harry.
If I were Piers Morgan, this is the point where I would entirely blame Meghan who, some might argue, turned up and filled Harry’s head with alarming ideas about living his truth and the almighty power of chia seeds.
No longer was Harry keen for a night on the tiles but wanted to hang about mooning over his American wife and banging on about his new-found love of the self-help section of WH Smith. But scapegoating the Duchess just feels chauvinistic.
Maybe Harry just grew up and realised he was done having to drag himself off to shake hands in Cardiff after drinking nine Harvey Wallbangers the night before. Maybe he wanted more out of life than knowing the cocktail menu at Annabel’s off by heart.
Maybe the bloke just grew up.
Still, over the years there have been a number of reports and biographies that have detailed how the royal’s friendships changed once he and Meghan became an item and then married.
In the highly sympathetic Finding Freedom, the authors report Skippy as saying, “We’ve lost him,” after the Sussexes’ 2018 wedding and write: “Many of Harry’s old friends said that the evening guest list was the Prince and his bride’s way of saying, ‘These are the people we want in our lives moving forward.’”
But no matter why Harry now only finds himself with a scant half-dozen mates, it’s still a bit of a sorry state of affairs.
I know, the argument can easily be made that Harry has brought his current predicament on himself; that he only has himself to blame for his alienation from his family, for much of the British populace viewing him with scorn and for ending up living in a country that microwaves water for tea.
But that does not change the fact that at such a difficult personal time in his life he now finds himself stuck living on the other side of the world from his old friends, the number of which can now nearly be counted on one hand.
Harry’s friendship situation became clear when it came time for the Sussexes to film their Netflix “docuseries”. Meghan had friends seemingly lining up to enthuse about her many, many wonders and to energetically make the case that she had been put through the palace (and press) wringer.
And Harry? The only people the Duke of Hazard(ous Media Outings) managed to get to speak on his behalf were one friend from his Eton days and his polo-playing compadre Nacho Figueras.
Not a single person from his inner sanctum or private life, aside from his Argentinian dreamboat mate, went on-screen to enthuse about his relationship, his choices or his new life.
To wit: The lack of voices willing to publicly stand up and passionately defend Harry was pretty obvious in contrast to his wife’s Greek chorus.
Now, it has to be said, maybe Harry and his six friends have a thriving WhatsApp group chat, all cat memes and non-stop support and I truly hope so.
However, Harry could hardly have seen them much in person for years now. The six trips that Harry has made back to his homeland since the Vesuvius-like eruption of Megxit have all been a matter of days, the odd one out being the two weeks he and wife Meghan spent in Britain for the late Queen’s funeral.
It’s highly unlikely, I would have thought, that while he was grieving for his adored Granny he might have been up for a quick night with the boys.
The last time it was reported that the Duke of Sussex had been enjoying some bonding’n’lager with his old chums was in January 2020 when it was reported that he was seen “laughing and joking” while having dinner with friends at Fulham’s Brook House pub.
The impression these days though is that Harry is largely cut off from his former life, an isolated figure stuck making small talk with Kris Jenner at Ellen DeGeneres’ drinks parties. (‘So you’ve never shot a pheasant? What about grouse? Not even a partridge? … No I’ve never thought about making a sex tape.’)
Nor has it been reported that Harry and Meghan are palling about the place with other guests from their star-studded night-time wedding reception such as George and Amal Clooney or Idris Elba.
The tragedy here is that all of this is happening at a point in the Duke’s life when he needs as many old mates around him as possible.
The power of friendships that date back decades is that they are some of the few people who can and will tell you when you are being a bit of a knob or making bad decisions or will tell it like it is.
You know, the exact opposite of Hollywood where numerous sets of lips are permanently attached to more famous derrieres.
The only upside in all of this? Perhaps the grouse and partridge of Gloucestershire have gotten to enjoy a few seasons unmolested by the blazing guns of Harry and his chortling bosom buddies. That is unless Kris does decide to get in on the act after all.
Daniela Elser is a writer and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.