Kate, the Princess of Wales (left), Prince William, Prince of Wales, Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex walk to meet members of the public at Windsor Castle, following the death of Queen Elizabeth II on September 10, 2022. Photo / AP
Kate, the Princess of Wales (left), Prince William, Prince of Wales, Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex walk to meet members of the public at Windsor Castle, following the death of Queen Elizabeth II on September 10, 2022. Photo / AP
OPINION:
Revolutionary Russians were hardly big fans of the monarchy – just ask the Romanovs – but ironically, when it comes to the state of the royal world at the start of 2023, no one put it better than Lenin who said: “There are decades where nothing happens; and there are weeks where decades happen.”
We are currently in one of those weeks, thanks to Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex who has not one, but two, huge TV interviews as well as the publication of his autobiography Spare set to land in the coming days.
All of this is, of course, after he and wife Meghan, Duchess of Sussex unleashed their hitherto biggest offensive yet against the royal family – their interminable Netflix whinge-a-thon, six hours of finger pointing and the sort of anti-establishment grenade-throwing that would have cheered up the Bolsheviks no end.
But there will be no rest for our poor, tired eyeballs because Harry is back at it, again, carping on about his family with all the self-pitying of a teenager who has been forcibly parted from his Xbox.
The first trailer for Harry’s interview with the UK’s Tom Bradby has been released, with him saying he wants a family “reconciliation”.
“I would like to get my father back,” he said. “I would like to have my brother back.”
It’s hard to find the right words here to truly quantify how stupefying, how ridiculous, how downright idiotic the Duke’s logic is here. Harry wants his family “back” and the way he is going about that is by pillorying them afresh to a global TV audience? By giving an interview to US 60 Minutes that was being promoted on Tuesday as “explosive”?
Prince William and Prince Harry walk beside each other. Photo / AP
Does anyone imagine that in their Birkhall drawing room, all Jack Russell fur-covered sofas and discreetly tucked away ashtrays (probably), King Charles and Queen Camilla will sit down to watch Harry – again – cast the royal family as a perfidious bunch of leakers, only for His Majesty to tearfully, full of regret, want to reach for his phone to issue a public apology to his son?
Or that William and Kate, the Prince and Princess of Wales, will, watching the Harry confessionals on their iPads in bed, suddenly turn to one another and decide they were in the wrong all along? Somehow I doubt a Peter Jones gift hamper with a heartfelt mea culpa and far too much gluten will be winging its way to Montecito anytime soon.
If Harry and Meghan really wanted nothing more than a true royal rapprochement, a true healing of hurts and mending of fences with the House of Windsor, is there a single, solitary soul on the planet who thinks that the best way to achieve that is via hours and hours of the Sussexes bad-mouthing the royal family?
Which brings us to one indisputable fact in this hub-bubbling mess: Harry has a book to move.
In a week, the Duke will release his memoir, a book that so far promises to be the least fun beach read since the 9/11 commission report came out.
Princess Charlotte (left), King Charles III, Prince Louis and Camilla, the Queen Consort, leave after attending the Christmas day service at St Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham in Norfolk, England. Photo / AP
Penguin Random House, for the privilege of publishing the princely pariah’s tell-all, reportedly forked over $31 million for a four-book arrangement with the Sussexes. (The other three? According to the Sunday Times, we have a “wellness-focused” title from Meghan, “a book about leadership and philanthropy” and a possible memoir from the Duchess to look forward to. Oh goody.)
Harry, or Aitch as we recently learned “Meg” calls him, has millions of copies of a book to shift in the same way that the Sussexes, in return for their reported $150 million deal with Netflix, had to deliver stonkingly good viewing figures for the streamer.
No amount of morally superior window dressing about wanting his father “back” can obscure that money, to some degree, is now an animating force for the Sussexes.
(Harry has also committed to donating $2.3 million of proceeds from the book to his charity Sentebale and $570,000 to the UK’s WellChild of which he is patron.)
When the couple put out their Instagram post that was heard around the world nearly three years ago exactly (January 8, 2020, if you want to observe the solemn day) they said they wanted to become “financially independent”.
Since then it has become apparent that their version of independence seemed to still involve Charles ponying up millions and British taxpayers happily footing the bill for bodyguards to follow the Sussexes around North American organic shops in pursuit of activated almonds.
From left, Kate, the Princess of Wales, Prince William, Prince of Wales, Prince Harry and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex walk to meet members of the public at Windsor Castle. Photo / AP
As Harry told Oprah in 2021: “My family literally cut me off financially.” (I know, there aren’t violins small enough …)
Which left the couple needing money – and a heck of a lot of it – which they have proceeded to earn by inking highly profitable deals – deals that so far have largely involved them airing a commercial laundry’s worth of dirty royal linen. (Even Meghan’s Archetypes podcast, yet to be renewed for a second season, was peppered with the occasional revelation.)
This picture gets even more complicated when you consider that a “source with knowledge” of Harry’s memoir has told The Sunday Times: “I think the book [will be] worse for them than the royal family is expecting. Everything is laid bare. Charles comes out of it better than I had expected, but it’s tough on William, in particular, and even Kate gets a bit of a broadside. There are these minute details, and a description of the fight between the brothers. I personally can’t see how Harry and William will be able to reconcile after this.”
And yet, Harry wants his father and brother “back”. How exactly does he see this happening?
The “logic” in all of this requires such mental contortions I think I need a lie-down.
The truly unsettling thing in all of this? The week has not even really begun, with hours of interviews to be watched (or, endured) and hundreds of pages of Spare to be ploughed through yet. What will Harry’s relationship with his family look like on the other side of this?
I think the only thing we can confidently say that will be going “back” anytime soon is that Peter Jones gift basket for a refund.
Daniela Elser is a writer and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.
