KEY POINTS:
I have always counted myself lucky that my parents are still together.
Thirty-six years on, they haven't killed each other and are still relatively pleasant to one another, which I think is pretty good going.
But it wasn't until a friend recently described the trauma of meeting his Dad's new girlfriend, that I realised just how lucky I am.
James first suspected something was up when he went to visit his Dad down south the other week.
Throwing a bag at him, his Dad said: "Here, take these."
Inside the bag were two pairs of new Calvin Klein undies.
"I bought them for me but they don't fit, so you have them," his Dad said.
Instantly, James knew something was amiss.
Afterall, this was a man who has worn the same type of striped multi-pack briefs for the past 30 years.
Later, his Dad asked if he had seen the new Cialis ad on TV. Apparently it's very funny.
Well, I'm an avid media watcher, as is James, and neither of us can recall it for love nor money. So obviously there is a reason it's stuck in his Dad's memory.
Finally putting two and two together, James asked his Dad if there was a new lady love in his life.
His Dad fessed up and arranged for the two to meet.
Now, meeting your Dad's girlfriend must be a bit weird in the best of circumstances.
But when the first topic of conversation is how she has a pole dancing pole in her bedroom, it would quickly become excrutiating.
Not helped by the fact the girlfriend's name is Krystal; James is now convinced his father is dating a retired stripper.
Well, he hopes she is retired...
So for those of you whose parents are still happily married, let this be a lesson to truly appreciate how lucky you are.
And for those whose aren't, my sympathies.
