The last few projects have been a bit intense, and I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed with it all. Searching for some frivolity I rifled through my old knitting patterns and happened upon a self-published number hidden beneath the glossier, illustrated editions.
Conscientiously typed on old-fashioned foolscap paper and showing definite signs of age, it boasted the title, Nylon Offcut Patterns. I scanned the pages with growing amusement. I could choose from the 'Vandyke Bag', the 'Doll Toilet Roll Cover', the 'Pillbox Hat' or, the piece-de-resistance, the 'Poodle Decanter Cover'. As there were no pictures, just what the Poodle Decanter Cover might look like was the cause of much curiosity. I had no option but to make one.
The only hitch was getting the poodle past the editorial staff. A couple of my previous suggestions had been politely declined. These projects, I had been told, 'must have a use'. I felt I was on shaky ground and even worse, seeing as I'd already made the poodle, I was feeling emotionally vulnerable. How would I break the subject of the poodle to the team?
Then, as if by some Irish miracle it was announced that St Patrick's Day fell on a Sunday and a themed issue was called for. I knew that I was in luck; with some ambitious tinkering, the poodle could become an irish wolf hound! If you get started on your hound now you'll be all set for next year. Or you could modify it to fit another occasion; either way it will add interest to your table setting and do so in such utter bad taste that it can't help but be a conversation piece. I dare you to make one.
