KEY POINTS:
Christmas approaches, and with it endless opportunities for social gaffes and faux pas at the office Christmas party and the extended family get-together.
But help is at hand.
Dame Barbara Cartland's Etiquette Handbook: A Guide to Good Behaviour from the Boudoir to the Boardroom has been reissued, 50 years after its first publication.
Barbara Cartland, the queen of romance, is named in the Guinness World Records as the world's most prolific novelist, with 664 novels and about 70 non-fiction works.
In her book of manners, you can find such insights as: "It is very wrong for a woman to chatter with other women across the table unless it is on a subject likely to interest their male partners."
Another, unlikely to find favour among feminists: "Unless she is ill, a woman should get up and cook her husband's breakfast before he goes to work in the morning."
But there is also information of a practical nature, such as how to do the washing-up when it is the servants' night off. And for the prospective mother of the bride, the exact dimensions of the notched edges of the wedding invitations.
It sounds like a fun read, but is the information still relevant?
Veteran social commentator Gordon McLauchlan defines etiquette as a generosity of spirit, of wishing people well, rather than a set of rules for social behaviour.
"People now seem more reluctant to say 'excuse me' or 'I'm sorry'," he says.
"That indicates to me a lack of generosity. I sense that in young people it's seen as a sign of weakness."
* Etiquette Handbook: A Guide to Good Behaviour from the Boudoir to the Boardroom is published by Random House UK. Random House NZ says copies can be ordered from mid-November.
BARBARA'S VIEWS
* 'Boys should be taught at a very early age - six or seven - to say sir to an older man'.
* 'I cannot stress too often that on every formal occasion, whether it is Luncheon, a Bazaar or a Meeting, a hat should be worn.'
* 'For the record, the word parlour is not used, nor is the relatively recent insidious lounge, except about airports, hotels and [ocean] liners.'
