Confusing new relationship taking the dating world by storm

There is a confusing new dating trend taking the world by storm. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION:

Picture this, you’re seeing someone you like, it’s been a couple of months, and they tell you yes, you should absolutely leave a toothbrush at their house.

Another week goes by, your toothbrush is now part of the furniture but they still haven’t gazed lovingly in your eyes, declared you are the coolest person they have ever met and asked you to officially be their partner.

Welcome to the situationship.

Unlike previous generations where there were very bold lines with dating – eg. You’re either together or you’re not – Gen Z has started dancing around it.

Some call it games, others call it the great dating revolution and some of us are too busy analysing everything the person we are fond of does to realise we are in fact in a situationship.

The term is the latest slang to hit the dating world and describes a romantic or sexual relationship that has not been formalised with girlfriend or boyfriend status.

As we come to the end of 2022 and tick another unexpected Pete Davidson relationship off our list – Em Rata, what are you doing girl? – it is time to reflect on how this new dating trend has changed the game.

As always, Tinder is at the front and centre of this conversation. They are after all the reason for half - if not all - of these odd relationships, so it seems only fair they provide us with the stats.

While we don’t have the exact stats of how many Kiwis are partaking in the latest form of relationship, Tinder surveyed a group of young singles who had recently signed up to the app and found one in 10 prefer a situationship.

Their reason being? It helps develop a relationship with less pressure.

The problem, however, is that a situationship is so similar to a relationship that sometimes it can be hard to tell whether you’re stuck in this wild limbo or whether the person you’re spending four-plus nights a week with is someone you can bring home for Christmas.

Before you spiral into oblivion and send a bunch of exhausting texts to the group chat saying “but he kissed my forehead when he said goodbye so he must like, like me, right? Right!” don’t.

Here are three signs you’re stuck in a situationship:

1. No natural evolution or growth

The telltale sign you are dealing with a half-hearted relationship is that there is no growth.

For the past three months, you’ve lived in frozen in time. They text you every Thursday, “fancy a nightcap?” you immediately drop everything, put on your favourite perfume and race over to their house.

The first red flag was at the start of the sentence, “the past three months”. It’s hard to hear and even harder to admit but if every time you see them it isn’t getting more serious then this likely isn’t going to flourish into a relationship.

2. You only make short-term or last-minute plans

Once upon a time, my friend wanted out of a relationship but their partner had booked something months in advance so they felt like they had to stay with them until that time.

This never happens in a situationship.

Chances are you two never talk about what you’re doing tomorrow let alone what you’re doing in a couple months. Let this be the golden rule, if you know when your next wax appointment is but not when you’re going to see your special someone, chances are it’s a situationship.

3. They not only tell you they don’t want to be serious, they show you

In my experience situationships tend to occur during your young, wild and free era.

You both probably have lives that revolve solely around good times, great friends and an upcoming career. When you talk to your friends about this person, you admit you like them but don’t want to be “tied down right now”.

It’s very uncomplicated. No strings attached. You can live without them, they can live without you. It’s not that deep.

If this sounds like you and you really don’t want to be in a situationship, it might be time to have a chat with your special someone.