Cockney cops are hard, know what I mean?

Martin Kemp and Joe Duttine in Serious and Organised.

Did you know the Finn brothers have their own TV series? Not Tim and Neil, unfortunately, but a less interesting pair of siblings called Jack and Tony Finn, DCs in the "Serious and Organised" crime squad in a grubby patch of London's East End (Serious and Organised, TV One, 9.30pm).

Last week's debut of this toothless ITV six-parter opened with GBH being committed upon the body of a drug-stuffed dead pig, all part of an undercover op to break a smuggling ring.

Under surveillance, a young cop was botching the job, so enter the person of Jack.

Or, more like, enter the persona of actor Martin Kemp, for whom this series has presumably been concocted, because there's no one else in the cast with anything approaching star power.

It's called a vehicle. Kemp, who once sang with Spandau Ballet then went on to forge an intermittent acting career as a heavy in EastEnders and a few other dramas, is a one-note actor, but evidently he (and the ITV people) thinks he is charismatic.

Swaggering around in a leather jacket, driving an ostentatious Audi sports car (in ep one, the villain drove a Mini, nice touch) and an overdose of gel in his hair, Jack is a hard man, know what I mean?

His new boss, a black guy whose career is dismissed by Jack and Tony as "a tour of the building", has already noticed the boys behave like kids, and I can only concur.

Give the Finns an order, they'll do the opposite. Tell them to wait, or stop, or display some procedural caution - forget about it. Jack, in particular, knows best, and miraculously it somehow works out. My guess is that the Finns will get positive results for each of the next five weeks.

To add a personal dimension to the drama, Jack's love life is not so hot. He's lusting after his sister-in-law as she parades around the house in knickers (he is sleeping on the couch for reasons I couldn't quite make out from the Cockney mumble).

Unbeknown to her, hubby Tony is faithless. But Jack has twigged - cue more childish behaviour and a good excuse to hustle her outside and commune over numerous fags in the backyard.

Oh dear. S & O badly needs some bite. The villain was by far the most convincing character in round one (and the better actor) and Kemp is not the man to carry the show.

You know the saying about an actor running the gamut of emotions from A-B? Watch Kemp's mouth: he does angry, as in pursed lips, or a smirk. That's it.

On the couple of occasions he smiles slightly more openly you can see why he prefers not to. His teeth look suspiciously false.