Gayford says his perfect Father's Day would involve giving Jacinda Ardern the day off. Photo / Michael Rooke
Gayford says his perfect Father's Day would involve giving Jacinda Ardern the day off. Photo / Michael Rooke
Clarke Gayford reflects on life with a 3-year-old, a near-death experience and the gift he's hoping to receive from the Prime Minister. This lifestyle story is republished with permission as part of a content partnership with the NZ Woman's Weekly.
He's been called everything from New Zealand's "first bloke" to the nation's "first man of fishing", so it should come as no surprise that Clarke Gayford's love of the ocean has rubbed off on his 3-year-old daughter Neve.
"I was driving Neve home from daycare recently," says Gayford. "And out of the blue, from the back seat, came a little voice that said, 'Dad, can you take me fishing?' It was completely unprompted and I was like, 'Absolutely, we can make that happen!'"
As the Weekly was going to print, the country was put in level 4 lockdown, so their plans will need to wait – not that he minds. Gayford and his family are now in Wellington, where he says he "is back to my most important job of looking after Neve".
It's been many months since New Zealand has had a lockdown, making it difficult for him to predict how their days will be spent. His little girl is negotiating a midnight feast in the late afternoon as he reflects on her changing skill set.
"We were crafting at 6.30 this morning with pipe cleaners, stamps, colourful cardboard plates and scissors, and I commented that she hadn't been able to use scissors last time!"
Keeping Neve entertained at home is definitely quieter than some of the adventures they've had. Gayford has taken her out on his boat several times, but the father-daughter duo have yet to share the enjoyment of whiling away the hours out on the briny with a hook, line and sinker.
When it comes to family traditions, however, fishing runs in their blood. Gayford, the fiance of Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, learned the craft from his own father Tony and it seems only fitting he should pass on his knowledge to Neve.
And as he chats to the Weekly at Auckland's Okahu Bay, with Rangitoto rising from the Hauraki Gulf behind him, he can't help but reflect on the monumental changes to his life since his daughter made her debut into the world in June 2018.
"One of the biggest lessons I've learned since becoming a dad is that sometimes you don't have a choice about being patient. It's forced upon you," he says with a smile. "And there's no amount of your friends winding you up beforehand that actually sinks in until you realise just how much your life has changed."
He wouldn't have it any other way. In the past three years, Gayford, 44, has become something of a role model for modern Kiwi fathers – as comfortable wearing his famous "dad cardies" as he is whipping up Neve a 3rd birthday cake featuring not one but three Disney characters.
Gayford grew up on the ocean - and now his daughter Neve wants him to take her fishing. Photo / Michael Rooke
Now, as he prepares to celebrate Father's Day, he says he still gets a kick out of sharing his daughter's "little moments and milestones".
"You sort of piggyback on their successes," he muses. "I remember when Neve couldn't walk – just teaching her how to get off a couch and celebrating that with her.
"The other day, my sisters, as a practical joke, bought her a drum kit and she dragged it out into the middle of the lounge. She sat down and started bashing away on the drums and then went through the whole alphabet from start to finish.
"We hadn't heard her do that before. She was able to recite her way through the whole thing while playing the drums, and I was like, that's huge!"
Raising Neve in the hustle-bustle of Wellington, where Ardern, 41, runs the country from the Beehive, as well as in Auckland, where the family has their home, is a far cry from Gayford's own childhood in rural Gisborne.
The eldest of three – his dad worked on the farm, his mum, a social worker – Gayford's childhood was a carefree blend of beach, bach, surfing and fishing.
The Gayfords rented a television for the winter months, but in summer he was outside from dawn 'til dusk and has fond memories of spending time at Mahia Peninsula, a 90-minute drive from the family home.
Gayford gets a kick out of Neve's "moments and milestones". Photo / Getty Images
"I just lived for low tide, so that I could go following my dad around the rocks. We'd go foraging for pāua, and other bits and pieces to bring home.
"I knew where the old sand shoes were and I knew where the rusty old knife with a bit of string on the handle was – and we would go off looking for things."
His dad also introduced Gayford to another passion – surfing.
"I'd love to know how old I was being pushed into my first wave, surfing with him," he reflects. "I know exactly where I was and I know how big the waves were, and I know that I was on his old Bob Davie seven-foot surfboard.
"I remember him encouraging me to ride waves, right from the get-go. All of those little things that indelibly become part of you. And he taught me how to fish. He taught me how to make a fishing tackle with two hooks and a sinker.
"I fished off the wharf at first and then we had a boat with a desperately unreliable motor. I have these vivid memories of going out to sea, the boat breaking down and being towed back in again."
Many years later, when Gayford had left home and built a radio career, he had a wake-up moment that led to his current role as host of the TV fishing show Fish of the Day, which has been broadcast in 35 countries and counting.
Gayford and Mike Bhana have just released their first book, called Fish of the Day. Photo / Michael Rooke
By then a keen spear fisherman, he says, "I had a pretty close call in Niue, where I blacked out. A fish dragged me really deep and I didn't quite make it to the surface. You're a kilometre offshore and someone's bringing you back round while you're floating on the surface.
"I realised, 'My God, that was pretty touch and go', and I sat back and thought, 'Well, what do I want to do with my life? Everything can be snuffed out so quickly.'It gave me that push to quit radio and have a go at making a fishing show."
The programme is now in its sixth season and Gayford and co-creator Mike Bhana have just released their first book, also called Fish of the Day, which takes readers to some of the world's best fishing spots, and provides seafood recipes and cooking tips from a host of international chefs.
"The first thing I did was smell it," says Gayford of receiving his first copy of the glossy 335-page tome. "The smell of a new book is very distinct. With a TV show, you're so busy making it that you often get caught up in the process, and don't have a chance to sit back and see what you've done. The book is a really nice way to encapsulate all of the effort that we've made."
It will no doubt be a popular choice for Father's Day gifts throughout Aotearoa, and Gayford hopes the cooking tips will hit the spot in Kiwi kitchens.
Jacinda Ardern and Clarke Gayford are planning to get married this summer. Photo / Getty Images
"I enjoy cooking," he enthuses. "It's not the New Zealand way to describe yourself as a good cook. But I really enjoy the process. Lately I've been getting into dry-ageing fish, so I've converted a fridge and I've been dry-ageing kahawai and serving it to my friends.
"They have no idea what they're eating. It's essentially 10-day-old raw kahawai and it's absolutely beautiful."
During his chat with the Weekly, it's easy to forget we're talking to New Zealand's First Man.
Aotearoa must be one of the few places in the world where the Prime Minister's significant other (he and Ardern are planning to wed in Gisborne this summer) can pull up for a hastily arranged photoshoot and good-naturedly get on with things without any fanfare.
It's as low-key and quintessentially Kiwi as Gayford's childhood recollections of Father's Day, "making cards and trying to, you know, spend some time with Dad".
When asked what his own dream Father's Day experience might be, he can't help but laugh. "Wow," he says. "My dream Father's Day gig would be for Mum to have a proper day off work!"
