The big day is approaching, and I'm so thrilled for the royal couple that I've decided to offer them the ultimate wedding present: my sincerest and most respectful neglect.
I've been a journalist long enough to know that - well, let's just say that we're not the most popular profession out there. And God knows that Prince Harry has more reason than other people to despise us, which, by all accounts, he does, wholeheartedly. I wish I could dissociate myself completely from those bottom-feeding paparazzi who hounded his poor mother to her death, but I'm afraid that the general public doesn't usually make such distinctions. And really, why should we expect them to?
Meghan Markle seems like a lovely woman - but of course she, too, is now getting the 21st-century royal treatment, as the press descends on her unsuspecting family, who are obviously ill-equipped to deal with the maelstrom of public attention. (What normal American middle-class family wouldn't be?)
And look, I know the happy couple doesn't care one way or the other, so whatever I do is going to have an entirely symbolic impact. But it's the thought that counts, right?