It came as a shock to many, with their joint statement - referring to “shifting journeys” and “individual growth” - revealing little about their reasons for divorcing after nearly three decades together.
While the inner workings of romantic relationships are usually private, there are often signs a relationship is heading for a split. Now divorce lawyers and relationship experts have revealed what some of those signs can be, as reported by Metro UK.
Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness are one of many celebrity couples to end their marriage in recent months. Photo / Getty Images
Here are some of the most common reasons a marriage can end, according to the experts.
Sometimes marriages don’t end for any dramatic reason, but simply because one or both people have fallen out of love.
UK family law expert Caroline Elliott tells Metro UK she sees many people who have been married for decades “run out of steam”.
That can be down to becoming empty-nesters and realising you don’t have anything in common apart from your kids - and running out of things to talk about.
Finances
We all know how much money can have an impact on a marriage.
Solicitor Anuradha Kurl tells the outlet, “When a family runs into financial pressures, there can be resentment between the parties, perhaps if one person isn’t working or if another person has lost their job.”
Some people realise they’d prefer to deal with financial concerns alone than rely on a partner - and Kurl hypothesises that finances will be front of mind for couples heading for divorce amid the cost of living crisis.
Ariana Grande married Dalton Gomez on May 15 at her California home. The couple have since announced their divorce. Photo / Instagram
The ‘neglected relationship’
According to relationship counsellor Mig Bennett, neglecting your relationship can lead to a split down the road.
Even a marriage that once worked can be at risk if the couple loses “sight and sound of each other as life’s stressors hit”, she explains.
Those stressors can be job losses, kids, the death of a parent or sickness.
Regular date nights and checking in can help maintain a relationship if you’re worried you’ve been neglecting it.
“Ask each other, ‘What’s it like to have been in a relationship with me this week’ ... and listen to the answer. Be open to what you hear,” she says.
One or both partners have been unfaithful
Kurl says couples in shorter relationships are more likely to split up over infidelity - but notes even long marriages of many years can have “elements of [infidelity] throughout”.
“In long marriages, often where couples have children and more complicated finances, adultery may have occurred, but sometimes the couples reconcile and give it another go because of the children and their circumstances,” she explains.
Britney Spears and Sam Asghari recently announced their divorce. Photo / Instagram
Lack of intimacy
Bennett notes that she often sees couples who don’t speak about sex and intimacy at all, or do so in a way that’s combative.
“My experience is that most (but not all) women need to feel connected to feel sexual. Men usually (but not always) feel connected through sex. Talk about it. Or get help to talk about it,” she says.
Negative or addictive behaviours
Maguire Family Law managing director James Maguire points to behaviours like using drugs, drinking, or petty crime as common reasons for divorce.
Elliott agrees, noting that gambling is another behaviour that can create rifts in a relationship.
“Like alcoholism, you can only help with so much unless somebody wants to change,” she says.
Relationship regret
Elliott regularly deals with couples who have changed their minds about being married to each other.
They may realise, ‘Actually, we’re not that keen on being married to each other’, or ‘I didn’t think it’d be like this’, she says.
But she notes that “young people are much more prepared and often much more in a position to say, ‘Right, let’s call it day and go our separate ways’ – it’s a more fluid approach.”
Not listening or feeling heard
In Bennett’s opinion, the biggest reason for divorce is a lack of listening and feeling heard - signs of poor communication.
“I see poor communication all the time. It’s a ping-pong game of attack, defence, blame, outdo. It’s laced with criticism and even contempt, and becomes a battle of who is right.”
She adds that “you can either be right, or you can be in a relationship” - not always both.
Relationship abuse
A serious cause for divorce is relationship abuse - a term that encapsulates harm of a physical, emotional and even economic nature.
That can look like gaslighting or controlling behaviours, but can become “more pronounced as the divorce unfolds”, Kurl points out - so it’s important to be aware of what these behaviours look like.
