Can't get over it? It's in the genes

Anyone who has suffered trauma knows the feelings of grief never go away. Photo / iStock.

Get over it. Let it go. Move on. A bunch of phrases that have always sounded meaningless to me. If you have experienced any kind of loss - and everyone has - you will know the way you feel about it is out of your control.

Now there is science to back up the theory that getting over it is not an option. Because it turns out you can inherit the effects of trauma your parents suffered. A study of 32 Holocaust survivors and their children, carried out at New York's Mt Sinai Hospital, showed that the latter had inherited genetic disposition to stress disorders that could only be attributed to their parents' experience.

All too often we hear, especially if we're a Maori deprived of our land, a survivor of domestic abuse, or Teina Pora, that we should get over what happened to us and get on with our lives: Why not set a deadline for Treaty settlements? Would the Pike River families please shut up? As if there were a time limit on feelings or injustice.

And if you're a Jew you're no doubt used to being told the Holocaust was 70 years ago and those Israelis are just crazy and bloody minded for clinging to its memory to justify their policies. The same is equally true, of course, if you're Palestinian.

Anyone who has suffered trauma knows that feelings of grief and loss never go away. They may recur less frequently but they are still there, just under the surface, ready to be reawakened by the right trigger.

There isn't, and nor should there be, a time limit on grief or injustice, In fact, as the DNA now shows, there can't be.

Those jobs don't even exist

Tertiary institutes are training media graduates like Alex Hazlehurst for jobs that don't exist. Photo / Supplied

Poor Alex Hazlehurst, the talented (she says), hard-working blonde woman who

couldn't get a job in London

.

She spent three years training in broadcasting only to find broadcasting wasn't that interested in her. Her story has been seen as a case study in getting attention and results, but really it highlights the scandal of an education industry training people for jobs that aren't there.

Film schools, music schools, journalism schools, culinary schools, business schools - they're all processing thousands of eager, hardworking blond - and brunette and ginger - students who will never get their dream job because they are just that - a dream.

Hazlehurst should have directed her complaint to the people who took her student loan to train her to do something for which there is no demand. For most of the young people in her position, that's not an option because the jobs just aren't there.

This truly will save lives

Brendon Pongia promoting Blue September for prostate cancer awareness. Photo / Supplied

Sleeping out for the homeless.

Growing a moustache for "men's health". The one where you had to tip a bucket of ice cold water on yourself and challenge others to do the same - does anyone even remember what that was for?

Being charitable today seems such a chore. Apparently, it has to be hard work to do good works. So it's reassuring to know it's still possible to help others by doing something as simple as handing over money. And sometimes you'll get something in return.

As evidence I draw your attention to two initiatives. Blue September exists to remind men to get checked for prostate cancer, a nasty little killer that is relatively easily avoided. And all you have to do is wear a blue ribbon. And let your doctor - well, never mind.

Less intimate, and possibly more enjoyable, is a charity art auction being held to raise funds for Sir Ray Avery's Lifepod - which really will save lives.

The catalogue goes live on Tuesday at webbs.co.nz. Check it out.