By GREG DIXON
Fashion, design, style ... these things, I'm afraid to say, are a foreign country to me.
This is what comes from spending your formative years in the likes of Invercargill and Palmerston North, you understand.
So it's probably rather useful that TV3's new magazine show Live This (7.30 tonight) covers all of these things in what executive producer Janice Finn says is a series about "showing people how to feel good about themselves and what they're doing".
Live This has a large cast of lifestyle experts offering consumer information, as well as aspirational show-and-tell items.
Series host Katrina Hobbs tackles the food, while journalist and Black Ferns captain Melodie Robinson provides health and beauty tips, interior design "guru" Peter Reid snoops around the homes of the rich and famous, stylist/hairdresser Richard Kavanagh looks at fashion and hair care and associate producer/presenter Pieta Keating gads about parts foreign in the travel segments.
"Basically it takes you on a bit of a journey in each segment," Hobbs says. "It is all my favourite things in life: food, fashion, fabulous homes and gardens, travel and technology - which I'm not very au fait with, but I'm getting better.
"In Australia, they call it infotainment, which is a shocking word. But it's informative entertainment."
In tonight's first show, the team, between them, make an ostrich salad, discover something called "distressed denim", check out the flash home of fashion designer Trelise Cooper and travel to Melbourne.
The show, it has to be said, is sponsored to the eyeballs. So if our hosts offer a recommendation or a recipe it's likely to include a product whose brand name is much repeated.
Former Shortland Street-er Hobbs calls the show one of her most enjoyable experiences in seven years telly presenting, here and across the Ditch.
On first viewing many of the segments have the feel of a rock video about them, with jumpy camera work and pop-up graphics containing factoids about a particular subject. But Hobbs believes the show will attract viewers from 17 to 70.
"There are so many elements in it. I watched one of the episodes last night and I was like, 'That really appeals to me, naaah, that doesn't really appeal to me or I know about it already.'
"You can take out of the hour-long show what you want. Most people will be able to find something in there that interests them or will keep them entertained."
But the big question is this: will Live This transform me from suburban frump into fashionable dude?
"Hell yes," Hobbs shouts down the phone, before instantly changing her mind.
"I don't know. We've just tried to create a show that will inspire passion in people so they'll go 'That would be fun'.
"But transforming you? If you want to be transformed, we'll transform you. But you have to have it within yourself to transform yourself - nobody's going to do it for you."
Bugger.
But will she transform me?
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