Bumble BFF: What happened when I tried to find a mate, not a date

I found that in chatting with potential BFFs there was a lot less beating about the bush and more "I've just moved into the area and would love someone to go to brunch with". Photo / Getty Images

Just like with traditional dating, gone are the days where you actually have to meet someone in real life to become their friend.

As a twenty-something, I spend a lot of my time wishing I was still in primary school: Your lunch is made for you, you spend most of the day playing games and all your friends come ready made in the perfect, class-size package.

This sort of situation is something you start to pine for when you're an adult and your friends become busy with their boyfriends, jobs, or living overseas. There comes a point in your twenties when you might find your friend group dwindling. Or maybe you've found yourself in a new city and you don't know anyone there. There are a million reasons why you could find yourself wondering, how do I make new friends?

Well, since everyone has their heads stuck in their phones anyway, a seemingly easy answer presents itself: Date them. Using your phone.

Just like with traditional dating, gone are the days where you actually have to meet someone in real life to become their friend. To put this to the test, I tried out Bumble's newest offering: Bumble BFF.

How does it work?

The basis of this app is the same as their dating version which, if you're not familiar, allows you to like people based on their profiles. If you don't talk to someone you've matched with within 24 hours the match disappears, never to be seen again.

This app was designed to give power to women in the world of dating apps and like the traditional Bumble, women have to make the first move.

They saw a market for people who didn't want to be greeted with "you got nudez?" every time they wanted to speak to a potential life partner.

It's this forethought that has brought about Bumble BFF (there is also Bumble Networking but that's a story for another day). Maybe you don't want to talk to dudes all day. Maybe, just maybe, you want to meet your next great gal pal who you can gossip with and celebrate Galentine's Day.

This begs the question, how does something like this work when it's been set up to be used in the online dating world - where we've become accustomed to judging others on physical attributes?

So, how does one attract a ... friend?

The first thing to remember is to really sell yourself, you need to be genuine. Unlike the smoke and mirrors you might hide behind on a dating app, when making an online friend, be truthful. "I love burgers and just finished watching all six seasons of Downton Abbey for the second time", works well here.

Photos are also important. Remember, you're not on a dating app. You don't need a photo of yourself on holiday in a bikini. What you need is a photo showing yourself having a nice time. Maybe a photo eating a meal because that is a fun friend activity (and if you don't agree with that please don't match with me).

I found that in chatting with potential BFFs there was a lot less beating about the bush and more "I've just moved into the area and would love someone to go to brunch with".

I found this refreshing and comforting. We're all just trying to find people to have brunch with, when it comes down to it.

There is the odd rejection, which strangely feels more offensive than being rejected by a guy you might want to date. There's something about someone who you just want to be friends with looking at your picture and swiping the other way. Granted, my bio was almost definitely too heavy on the "I like to go out and eat food and not necessarily go to the gym" vibes, but still. Rejection hurts in love and friendship.

I'll admit, my foray into trying to make virtual friends felt very strange. When you're used to using this platform to find a member of the opposite sex, it's very weird to all of a sudden be swiping yes or no to girls (unless that's what you're into of course). It's also hard to establish what you're going to talk about. You can't flirt and "ASL?" doesn't quite cut it here.

At the end of the day this is an effective, if not slightly strange, way of meeting new friends. It's perfect for people who have just moved to new cities (which I have done before and would have loved something like this) or great for new mums who want to meet people in the same boat (an app targeting this group has recently launched in the UK).

But overall, if something makes the world feel a little smaller and just that bit friendlier, surely that's got to be a good thing.