Any woman who has been on a dating site or app is familiar with the parade of penis pictures. During my time on OKCupid, my inbox was routinely inundated with unsolicited photos of men's genitalia.
Women are fed up with this, and many are fighting back. One woman messaged her would-be suitor's mother, telling her what her son was up to.
And then there's Kerry Quinn, the woman who sent 40 preemptive vagina photos to men on the dating app Bumble to see how they'd respond; she called it her "own twist on revenge porn." Of the 37 guys who communicated with her about her v-pic, "every one of them wanted to meet me, regardless of age or location," she wrote on Thrillist about the experiment. "I did feel empowered, although in a much different way than I expected. Men were clamoring to meet me, which is a great feeling even if it's not for the right reasons."
None of this is the empowering, feminist way to respond to men sending unsolicited penis pictures. When photos of penises are sent without being requested, they are not consensual and sending them is an electronic form of sexual violence. Unexpected vulva photos are no different.
There's a reason that flashing someone in public is a sex crime. And I'd like to see our understanding of exposure evolve with our technology. There is nothing different about a man pulling his penis out and showing it to the woman next to him on the train than there is with him sending a picture of his penis to the woman he just matched with on a dating site. If women want to drive home the point that sending non-consensual photos of genitalia to someone is not okay, we need to hold ourselves to the same standards we'd like to see men abide by.