The world is divided between surfers and those uninterested in being drowned, pulverised, eaten by great whites, or having straw hair. Yes, I know, I know ...
Anyway, one wave-wallower is the monstrous, marvellous protagonist of Malcolm Knox's fourth novel. The wrecked, 58-year-old Dennis Keith lives ("depends what you mean by living") with his mum in a retirement village, inside a two-bedroomed, identikit box of blond brick.
His seaside town has become a blaring surfing mecca, a transformation ironically due to DK's youthful feats on beaches at Brisbane, Perth, Hawaii et al.
But now the world's greatest weighs 18 stone, unable even to sit on a board, trudging through squalid days of medication, gooey icecreams and burger rings, and obsessive hand-washing rituals.
The irruption into his life of the BFO, his emphatically impolite name for a youngish woman interviewer with her own secrets and scenarios, brings us DK in earlier days, times crammed with followers and empty of friends - "the greatest surfer on the planet, the pothead, the smackhead, the manic genius, the sick bastard, the schizo, the fameout". Also the man who helped destroy a young woman singer who loved him.