KEY POINTS:
The problem of childhood anxiety and depression is more prevalent than you may think.
It's easy to spot the behaviourally disruptive child who has a habit of throwing tantrums and chairs, or the hyperactive child who goes from 0 to 100 in 2.3 seconds, but the anxious child often goes unnoticed.
They are the ones at the back when lined up for selection. In family portraits, they are the ones hidden in the shadows.
With these children, often we realise there is a problem only when it's all too late.
Of all the difficulties experienced during childhood, anxiety is recognised as the most common and significant. It is estimated that about 15 per cent of all young people experience severe anxiety.
We think (or perhaps hope) that kids will just "grow out of it".
However, the research overwhelmingly demonstrates that if left untreated, anxiety can lead to poor self-esteem, hopelessness, drug abuse, depression and even suicide.
Anxiety in primary school years is one of the greatest risk factors for dysfunctional behaviour and psychiatric problems in teenage years.
The question is not so much, "Does my child experience anxiety", but rather, "When does the level of anxiety become cause for concern, and what are the symptoms?"
There are a number of signs to look out for:
1. Physical illness symptoms (eg nausea, stomach cramps, headaches, insomnia), and using such reasons for not wanting to attend school, social, or sporting events.
2. Constant thoughts and fears about their own and others' safety.
3. Finding it difficult to meet or talk to new people and needing reassurance to try new things.
4. Worrying excessively about things before they happen.
5. Becoming upset about being or sleeping away from home (eg panicking or having tantrums when separated from parents).
6. Being preoccupied with cleanliness (eg hand washing, arranging things, feeling contaminated).
Despite the seriousness of childhood anxiety and depression, Australian clinical research brings hope and good news.
Over the past decade, Queensland-based clinical research programs have led the way in producing therapeutic techniques for both the prevention and treatment of emotional problems in children and teenagers.
For example, the FRIENDS program has received considerable acclaim as one Cognitive-Behaviour-Therapy (CBT) tool being used in schools to prevent anxiety and depression.
The primary focus of CBT in a clinical setting is to teach young people how to cope with and manage anxiety and depression by understanding the relationship between thoughts and feelings.
Young people are encouraged to challenge negative self-talk and learn how to build true self-esteem, develop and implement problem-solving strategies, make better-quality friends and use social support networks.
The promotion of positive family skills also helps children to become emotionally resilient against life's stresses.
The importance of such resilience training has been recognised in recent years by the corporate world, sending executives off to workshops and retreats to learn how to manage stress and improve interpersonal relations.
However, there is also a growing trend among parents who question "Why does my son/daughter have to wait until then to learn these skills?" The answer is they don't and they shouldn't.
It is estimated between 90 and 95 per cent of all medical problems, in one way or another, are related to the emotional choices we make when faced with stressful situations.
As parents, school teachers, and community members, there is much that we can do to prevent the development of emotional problems, and also to help children develop skills to respond to existing stress in positive and powerful ways.
Despite the comforts of our modern world, children and teenagers increasingly find themselves living with academic competition and demands, family breakdown, and dysfunctional social pressures which encourage them to "grow up before their time".
Staying healthy is not just about how children respond to stress, but also how they choose to manage the source of their stress. What may come as a surprise to many is that they are their own source of stress, determined by the choices and decisions they make.
The biggest myth about stress is that "by itself, stress is a killer". Research now shows that people who are exposed to the same amount and type of stress frequently develop different problems in response.
Most importantly, some people tend not to develop any problems at all. Why? Rather than stress itself, it is the way we respond to stress that causes health problems to flair.
The good news is that when children are taught emotional regulation skills at a young age, they learn much more easily than adults how to take back the control. The outcome is autonomy, assertiveness, and well-being in the face of any challenging circumstance.
When a child experiences a stressful or anxiety-provoking situation, it's as though the amygdala in their brain records and stores the way they respond on an emotional memory-chip.
This emotional memory file will be opened each time they experience a similar event in the future.
However, emotional memory files can be re-written so that existing automatic responses to stress can be changed for the positive. To do this, the child needs to be re-exposed to the challenging circumstance.
This is best achieved over time using a systematic process that exposes the child to their fears gradually.
Just like opening a computer file or document, we make a few changes to the data and re-save it before closing down.
From then on, each time we open that file, the emotional memory information remains permanently changed.
The best news is that anxiety shares the exact same pathway as depression.
If a child can be taught to re-write their emotional memories and face their fears, they become empowered to alter and enhance their entire life - naturally preventing other negative emotional traits.
It is through this process that a child builds emotional resiliency.
Dr Robi Sonderegger is a clinical psychologist who writes for APN publications in New Zealand and Australia
