I'm scratching my head here. Honestly, I'm scratching it so hard I'm pretty sure I'm going to break through my skull and reach my frontal lobe. I haven't been this mystified since an incident on Auckland's Ponsonby Rd a couple of weeks ago, when a man I had just met said people were trying to kill me, shoved me into a cab and told the driver to take me as far away as his credit card limit could afford ... My life is a circus.
Anyway, school uniforms really make no sense, or about as much sense as dressing your cats in bear costumes and then walking them to the supermarket while you're decked out in your Sunday best. I mean, you CAN make students wear uniforms, but why would you?
I suppose my cultural bias is coming into play here. Growing up in Oregon, the only schools that had uniforms were of the super-religious variety. And I don't mean your average Christian schools, either. I'm talking ultra religious institutions that make Gloriavale look downright hedonistic by comparison; trust me, they're out there.
The thing is, every time I see kids in school uniforms, that's what I think of. But surely not everyone in Aotearoa is a fundamentalist Mormon?
Strangeness aside, there are also some very real problems with school uniforms that we needed to talk about a long, long time ago. Yep, around gender identity and expression.
We all know the ridiculous rules. Only students born biologically female can wear skirts, and only students born biologically male can wear trousers. It seems not a week goes by without a story about a brave student standing up to such nonsense, only to face resistance from a school board straight out of the Triassic Era doing its darnedest to force students to conform to archaic regulations. Heck, even the Post Primary Teachers' Association has called for doing away with gender-specific uniforms.
The simple question is, why are such rules still in place? Why can't boys wear skirts, and girls wear trousers? Is the world going to shatter into 3.7 billion pieces if that happens, with the remains scattered throughout the vast blackness of the Universe? I didn't major in astronomy at university, but I'm pretty sure not. So what does it matter if someone with XY chromosomes who is not of Scottish ancestry wears a skirt? Or if someone with XX chromosomes wishes to cover each of their legs individually by fabric?
You think this is all harmless? Think again.
Here's the thing: school is an incredibly stressful time, especially when it comes to discovering who you are. We all know that's true. Allow me to be even more frank: it usually sucks, what with hormones raging so fast and hard you feel like you're ready to spontaneously combust, more pressure to succeed than an All Black or Black Fern kicking the potential game-winner, and less of a clue as to who you want to be than that time I popped into a Disney-themed Halloween party with only a beige trenchcoat and some rather poorly applied eyeliner for a "costume".
So why make things even worse for kids already incredibly stressed out by preventing them from dressing how they wish? It's the same as forcing kids to use the bathroom of the sex they were assigned at birth - it only causes further stress and makes kids feel even worse about themselves, like something is "wrong" with them.
And don't for a moment think I'm just ranting - remember, I'm genderqueer, too. I know what that stress is like. And I'm bloody thankful I was able to wear whatever I felt like at the school I went to.
The suicide rate among Rainbow youth is five times higher than the general population, according to stats in the Herald's own "Break the Silence" project. And we already know that Aotearoa has the highest rate of youth suicide in the developed world. Shouldn't we be doing anything and everything to reduce that, to literally save lives? Getting rid of school uniforms or making them gender-neutral is a start.
Again, if a torch-wielding mob comes after me for this - good. At least I can go down knowing I stood up for my beliefs. And that belief is that school uniforms aren't just goofier than a sombrero-wearing dolphin driving a Cadillac up Queen Street, but that they're dangerous if it means people are forced to wear clothes that don't allow them to express who they are. By doing away with uniforms, we can save lives by letting kids be, well, kids.
Who wants to challenge me on that?
That's what I thought.
Oh, and if you still insist on kids wearing uniforms in school: just have a uniform that's the same for all genders. It's not hard. You can make everyone wear smart skirts, in any colour you choose. After all: pink used to be considered a colour for boys.
Where to get help:
If you are worried about your or someone else's mental health, the best place to get help is your GP or local mental health provider. However, if you or someone else is in danger or endangering others, call police immediately on 111.
Or if you need to talk to someone else:
• LIFELINE: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• SUICIDE CRISIS HELPLINE: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• YOUTHLINE: 0800 376 633
• NEED TO TALK? Free call or text 1737 (available 24/7)
• KIDSLINE: 0800 543 754 (available 24/7)
• WHATSUP: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• DEPRESSION HELPLINE: 0800 111 757
