Beck Vass: Why I'm not offended by Mark Richardson's parenting comment

I am a stay-at-home mum and Mark Richardson has not offended me.

Last week, he attracted criticism for saying motherhood is not a job.

But I say parents need to stop being offended by everything. It's just too tiring.

We're offended when someone asks if we breastfed and we didn't, or when we're asked if we had a natural birth, and we didn't.

We're offended when someone asks if our child is still having a bottle, or still rear-facing in their car seat. Or if we're asked if we're working, or not working.

We're offended when we can't take our baby to a concert. (Seriously lady, don't take your kid to concert. I'm here to escape mine and I really don't want to look at yours).

There's so much to be offended about.

I am two kids in (they're five and three) and I was probably offended once when I had the energy, but I am too tired now for these things to matter.

I realised something had shifted for me when I was out for dinner one night and the conversation shifted to life before kids, as it inevitably does with people you don't know.

I was asked what I did for work before I was at home with the kids. I said I had been a journalist.

The middle-aged working woman, a mother of adult children herself, responded:

"But how do you function not doing anything meaningful with your life?" Her actual words.

I just replied: "It's a constant battle," and left it there. What do you say?

I don't feel the need to spend my energy trying to sway the opinion of someone I don't care about.

And if that is what she really thinks, then I care even less about her opinion anyway.

I think I see where Mark Richardson was coming from. Motherhood or fatherhood is just a fact of life for those of us on this path.

I remember thinking about it on my way home from the hospital with our teeny, 6-pound baby girl some five-and-a-half years ago. It was about 3pm on a beautiful day.

People were going for runs and riding their bikes and going to the shops and I was just thinking: "How is everyone just going about their normal business when this momentous thing has happened and the world is never going to be the same again?"

Having a baby is simultaneously some sort of miracle and "just" an everyday thing.

Someone else might have a different view than you do, but why care what they think about it anyway?

Are you a parent in New Zealand? We want to hear from you. Join our parenting group on Facebook.