Is Elf on the Shelf just a reason for parents to feel guilty? Photo / Getty Images
Is Elf on the Shelf just a reason for parents to feel guilty? Photo / Getty Images
Because it is Christmas, I have just been sucked into the never-ending mum-guilt black hole of buying into some "seasonal extras" just because everyone else is.
Social media can do that to you. I fought it until last week, but have succumbed.
I have friends posting all these adorable, elaborate things that the elves watching their children are getting up to.
You know, the wee elf toys known as "Elf on the Shelf" or similar? They're creepy little guys who come and watch over your kids on behalf of Santa, who is far too busy to come himself.
They report back to Santa if kids have been naughty.
Yet another friend's impressive Elf on a Shelf efforts. Photo / Supplied
In addition to the online guilts, another friend came over and asked my girl, 6, about her advent calendar. Her advent calendar that her s***ty mum hasn't bothered to buy.
I've just had a baby.
This excuse wouldn't stop my friends. They are better parents than me.
Two years ago -the first Christmas we had a Christmas tree - I bought an advent calendar train for the kids. It has cute little drawers for them to pull out each day. And then I just didn't find things to go inside them.
I tried, halfway through writing this, but nothing fits and I need two of everything for now - three in a couple of years' time. Fail.
My advent calendar fail. Photo / Supplied
Every year I think what a stink mum I am for not doing this stuff for my kids (aged 6, almost 4, and 2 months). All these precious childhood memories my poor children won't have because their crappy mum just couldn't be bothered.
There are only a few short years that kids even get into this stuff and I'm not giving them memories they will treasure forever. So much guilt!
The elf is meant to make sure your kids behave. But I know my kids are going to be brats anyway. And of course all my efforts are only going to teach them they can be brats and Santa will still come and bring them presents.
Just another hollow threat Mum didn't follow through on.
My previous years of Wench on the Bench, where I just sat in the kitchen drinking gin and yelling at them, didn't work.
And so, here I am, sucked into using the "Elf on the Shelf" idea to bribe my kids into behaving or we'll take away their Christmas presents. Which I'm not really going to do.
Here's our version:
Beck Vass bought her elf from Whitcoulls and "magic" elf door and accessories from
Kmart. Photo / Supplied
I figured I might as well. Kids only show pure joy so much. The rest of the time they're whining and complaining and refusing to put their shoes (and in my case, their clothes) on.
So small things that make them happy make me happy too.
