Beck Vass: The supermarket collectables you really don't want

It is marketing at its finest. Making consumers want something we don't even want. Photo / 123RF

COMMENT:

I have allowed myself to be brainwashed by the supermarkets, writes Beck Vass.

Imagine being in the supermarket and seeing a woman standing at the checkout, hand held out in a "stop" sign towards the shocked staff member's face, screaming:
"Nooooooo!"

At least, that's how it went in my head.

Instead, in slow motion, I found myself meekly saying: "Yes" when the Countdown staff member asked if I wanted the latest collectables.

Why did I say yes?

I don't even know why. It just came out.

I accepted them, and stupidly – so stupidly – gave them to my kids (6 and 4) who are now going to leave them in multiple places around the house for the baby (11 months) to choke on.

This is what happens every time there is a collectables range, and eventually, two years later, I throw them in the rubbish feeling guilty about having collected them in the first place - and for killing the planet with the extra landfill.

Disney Words

Disney Words has arrived at Countdown! ⭐ Get 1 tile with every $30 spent in-store or online. There are 36 tiles to collect.

Posted by Countdown Supermarkets on Wednesday, 11 September 2019

It is marketing at its finest. Making consumers want something we don't even want.

I mean, I really don't want them, and still I said yes. It's completely irrational.

I have allowed myself to be brainwashed by the supermarkets.

This stuff always ends up upsetting me at some point.

I get home and realise I forgot my collectables that I didn't even want.

Aww, what a waste, and I would have got four with that shop too.

I'm not someone who takes the receipt back and asks for them, especially seeing I never wanted them anyway, so I just end up (again, quite illogically) gutted that I should have more. What the hell is wrong with me?

I had a nearly-full set of stamps stuck on a card from the last New World collectables which was for some sort of plastic container.

I wasted all those stamps only to not get the plastic container anyway.

I could have used that free container to house all the other collectables that are floating around the house.

Then there was the New World Little Shop. My Mum works in the grocery trade and managed to get an entire set for us. She had gone to so much effort to collect the set that I didn't want the kids playing with them because they would ruin them.

Then, I remembered that was what they were for, so I let the kids play with them and they started opening packets and trying to eat the polystyrene insides. Oh well.

There were the Countdown animal cards. The ones you swiped in the machine (purchased as an extra, of course) that makes the animal noises.

Because we really needed more weird noises in the house.

The sounds were quite muffled and the kids just found one that sounded like a fart and swiped it on repeat. It wasn't annoying at all.

For months we had masses of Disney Pixar Dominoes scattered around that not once got used to play Dominoes.

And the Disney projector cards. Those things are still appearing from crevices and the projector you had to buy never really showed the picture properly anyway.

What a rip off that was, and still I collected.

I had to google what the latest collectables were even for while writing this column, and I already had 12 of them.

Apparently they're letters for a word game.

Every one of them I find scattered around the house or in the baby's mouth is a symbol of another $30 – THIRTY! – down the wide open throat of the supermarket.

Recyclable at least this time, which alleviates some of the burden.

Don't be like me. Be strong.

Just say no and play Scrabble.