Beck Vass: I hope my daughter is always this feisty

I wonder if it's me? Food she's eating? Additives? Gluten? Psychopathic tendencies already emerging? Photo / Getty Images

One week before our daughter's fifth birthday, we ventured off on our first properly-planned over nighter as a family.

We were staying a night in Hamilton to see Paw Patrol! Which we sat through with -amazingly - no dramas.

It was so nice to be somewhere with everyone else's kids losing the plot while mine were quiet for once.

Later, at the motel, the kids were excited to have a spa bath.

All was going well until our boy, 2-and-a-half, pulled all of the towels on the rail above him into the bath.

The next morning, we had plans to go to the zoo.

But it was cold, raining, and our girl was in one of her moods. Extreme. Like a bomb going off.

I wonder if it is me? Food she's eating? Additives? Gluten? Psychopathic tendencies already emerging? Normal? A combo of all that?

She rolls around on the floor whining because she doesn't want to put a skirt on over her tights.

Eventually, I give her a time out in the bathroom which is shorter than usual because she is screaming: "Help me, help me, I'm locked in here, don't go without me."

I'm conscious of the motel's shared walls. The kid is street smart and knows full well I'll worry about others hearing.

I tell her one more time that she can't behave like this and get the surprise we have planned (the zoo) because that's not how it works.

"It isn't how it works," she says. "It's how YOU work."

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Well, that's true actually but it doesn't change anything. While we have her complaining about everything, there's our boy, who is easily impressed.

"Dis is amazing," he announces as he eats his Weetbix and looks around the room. The zoo doesn't seem appealing so we decide to head home.

Our girl is still carrying on in the back seat so (after some warnings) I snatch her new Paw Patrol wand and her blanky because I want her to pull her head in.

She protests but finally goes quiet.

Then, she and her brother start hitting each other and slinging insults from their car seats.

She begins muttering under her breath and all I can make out is: "Because you are the poo-pooest."

He reacts by whipping her with his bunny and she screams loudly - just what he wanted.

It may be wrong but I don't care. When he is being physical like this and won't listen to her saying stop, I let her hit him.

No boy of mine is going to grow up ignoring a girl saying stop. (And vice versa).

Smack him all you like, darling, and any other kid who doesn't stop hitting you. When you're older, I'll teach you the best bits to aim for.

Her feisty personality might be hard for me to handle now, but I'm hoping it will serve her well later in life.