Post-coital snaps? Yes, if you didn't know we did that, then let me horrify you. I'm talking about the ambiguously named "after-sex selfies." You have sex, take a selfie, and post it online. Of course, not everyone does it. But it emerged last year as a trend among some young and young-ish things. (They're not to be confused with the #sexselfies, the also ambiguously named trend for a slightly older and perhaps less ... uh ... amateur group.)
The trend is often cited as the principle proof that our generation are indeed generation over-share. Of course, then the question is why we share so much?
Is it narcissism? Is it over confidence? Heavens, is it a complete lack of propriety?
I don't think it's any of these things. I think it's our generation's way of proving status. And the after-sex selfie is a great case study for this. I think it's a bit of a cop out to explain these photos by saying that my generation are super self-centred. It doesn't acknowledge the societal factors that influence how we all build identity and prestige.
So how does sharing an after-sex selfie boost your status?
Well, we know that there are lots of ways we can achieve status. But one of the biggest indicators of status in modern, western capitalist New Zealand is conspicuous consumption. Buying flashy stuff. Dude buys a Lamborghini so that everyone sees it, knows he bought it, and knows he is one rich, important bunny.
In an after-sex selfie the "flashy thing" is the sex itself. Everyone knows you have this flashy thing because you've just taken a photo of it. What after-sex selfies say is, "hey, I just had sex, and that makes me cool, and now you know I'm cool."
When did sex become proof you were cool? How did it become a product to use to fashion your identity? Was it always this way?
Well sex is inherently, hopefully, an indication that at least someone thinks you're awesome.
But what's different is that our generation is growing up under the assumption that quantity is more important than quality when it comes to sex. There's an idea that you should get as much sex, with as many people as possible, to have "properly lived" in your 20s. Of course not everyone agrees with this, but we are all aware of the school of thought.
Valuing quantity decouples sex from emotional experiences. That makes it easier to use as just another product to build your image from. Sex becomes like wearing Nikes - only less exploitative.
When you take an after-sex selfie, you are trying to prove to the world that you get a lot of sex. And that means you should get a lot of prestige. Of course it also shows that you're edgy and out there, man.
People may think that it's tasteless to take a selfie full stop. But is that to do with the old forms of conspicuous consumption (telling people in real life) versus its new forms (telling people online)? Is it just old school consumers look down on the new ones? Because they are both still doing the same thing.
You might also get judged because people reject getting lots of sex with lots of people as an indication of status. I actually agree. But try telling a teenager that having sex isn't the metric of adulthood.
We shouldn't be disgusted by the uncouth, wild youths of today. We can feel sorry for them, sigh wisely over them, or just ignore them. But sneer at narcissistic young 'uns? They're just modern conspicuous consumers.
