What do you do when someone catches you bent beneath a hand dryer, arms in the air and body thrown beneath the hot air?
Do you squawk and bolt in panic? Do you leave it unacknowledged? Do you pretend that you're doing bathroom yoga? ("Oh, don't mind me. Just my morning routine. This is the ... squatting duck ... and breathe ... and quack.")
I always preferred squawking. The bolt and squawk combo was one of the most memorable skills high school taught me. And now, should I need it, I have a glittering future as chicken impersonator. How did school teach me this? In Year 11, I found out I had a skin condition. It made me sweat like I was standing in a customs line with three vipers stashed in my knickers.
It didn't make school particularly fun. I was already unattractive, shy and bored shitless. Being caught in a compromising position with a hand drier every other week didn't improve the situation.
But it was one of the most practical skills school taught me. It floated back to mind when I read the speech that went viral this week by Anela Pritchard, who criticised the lack of practical skills taught in school. Pritchard also touched on common themes for high school students: dissatisfaction with teachers, the irritation with lifeless learning, the feeling of futility. Suddenly, I was back in high school like I'd just applied a layer of orange foundation.