Back to work: Tools to turn inner chaos to calm

The return-to-work blues can feel overwhelming. Photo / Thinkstock

You've got the holiday season tan but the joy of Christmas is wearing off. There are a million chores to do, emails to reply to and the gifts the kids enjoyed need paying for - on top of a pile of household bills that arrived while you were away.

Too soon, and while you're still dusting sand from your car, you're irritable, snappy, tired, eating less, smoking more, starting to lose concentration and feeling gloomy.

If this sounds like you, you're ripping into 2011 stressed and anxious. And you're not alone. Research covering a number of countries, including New Zealand, in the 2006 Canadian Journal of Psychiatry showed 17 per cent of us will experience anxiety disorders during our lifetimes.

Psychologist Michele Murphy recognised an increase in the number of people suffering stress and anxiety and so teamed with GP Cate Howell to set up CM Consultancy to teach coping skills in schools and workplaces.

The doctors from Adelaide, Australia, have since written a handbook, Release Your Worries, in which they share more than 50 years' experience working in the field - using a variety of strategies such as holistic and psychological therapies - to help people fight the demon within.

According to Murphy, it is not uncommon for stress and anxiety to rear its head during and after the festive season. She says most of us head into the stressed zone during Christmas believing it is only for a short time.

But for some it is not.

"Perhaps the Christmas festivities didn't reach their expectations or they used the time as an excuse to put undesirable tasks on hold and now they have to face them," Murphy says.

And, as the pressure mounts, so does niggling self-doubt, she says, such as "here we go, another year of the same" or "if I don't pay all the Christmas bills right now I am a loser".

So how can you stop stress from overloading or its nasty bedfellow, anxiety, building into panic attacks?

Murphy and Howell say there are a number of things you can do. Simple but effective ways to calm down are breathing exercises, doing things you value, getting adequate sleep, eating healthier, exercising, being kinder to yourself and tackling negative thought patterns.

And don't forget to relax. - even if you can't see the formica for the pending paperwork on your office desk.

"If you invest 20 minutes per day in relaxation training you may be surprised to realise you have gained extra time because you have completed your tasks in a focused way. You will have more time to do things you really enjoy," says Murphy.

Release Your Worries offers strategies to deal with more deep-rooted issues such as self-esteem, negative comparisons with others and self-acceptance. Ways to tackle "unhelpful thinking" - thoughts such as "I'm huge" just because you gained a few kilograms over the Christmas break - are also offered ... and it may be a relief to the stressed to know everybody has those feelings, say Howell and Murphy.

Traits shared by those with anxiety disorders are procrastination and perfection.

Murphy says: "All anxiety problems have one thing in common - avoidance."

Procrastination and efforts to be perfect can stem from fear of failure, criticism, uncertainty and desire for approval and it leads to heightened stress and anxiety disorders, say the authors. Such people need to challenge their expectations of themselves.

Winston Churchill and Oprah Winfrey are among a long list of famous people to have had anxiety. Fine, you may think: I don't have a nation to lead through war or have a chat show to front; my problems are insignificant and I should be coping better.

However, Murphy says it is "normal and common" to be stressed by life. Everyone - parents, students and professionals included - experience it. The doctors admit that they, too, have had to manage the stress in their lives. And being bowled over by anxiety is not a weakness, says Murphy. It's often the tough among us who succumb because they continually make themselves available to others, never ask for help and soldier on no matter what.

"We often see strong people in therapy because anxiety symptoms are sometimes the body's only way of sending a message to that very 'strong' brain that their behaviour is not sustainable in the long-term and they must take care of themselves," she says.

Stress is natural, too, says Howell. Our bodies and minds have been programmed to respond to threats since the "fight-or-flight response" days of living in caves.

"But today threats such as finances are more complex and chronic. They demand a more complex response than 'fight or flight'. And we don't always get the chance to relax between stressful episodes."

The doctors warn that addressing the issues will not eradicate stress and pain - these experiences are part of life - and it can take time and effort to gain a balance.

However, doing so will make your days more enjoyable, relationships better and help you better deal with future challenges.

"This time of year is a good time to review life and set goals," says Howell. "Alleviating stress and anxiety could be one of the best New Year resolutions you can make."

* Release Your Worries, Drs Cate Howell and Michelle Murphy, Exisle Publishing, $36.99.

KNOW THE SIGNS

* Physical: Headaches, tiredness, sleeping problems, muscle tightness, palpitations, chest discomfort.

* Emotional: Irritability or anger, poor concentration, overly sensitive or reactive, and depression.

* Behavioural: Changes in smoking or alcohol use, nail biting, lowered libido.

'BABY-STEP' STRESSBUSTERS

* Relaxation: Think about what you find relaxing and build it into your day. Methods include breathing techniques, meditation or sport.

* Do things you value: Think about what gives you joy and meaning. If you prioritise these areas in your life, you may feel less stressed because you are no longer trying to spread yourself too thin.

* Connect: Social support can act as a buffer against stress so surround yourself with people who know how to relax and have fun.

* Be in the moment: By engaging in the present we are less likely to worry about the past or future.

* Use humour: Watch your favourite comedy show and see the funny side in situations.

* Healthy lifestyle: Eat healthy food, get adequate sleep and exercise.

* Challenge negative thoughts: Substitute destructive thinking with helpful thoughts.

* Learn to say no: Decline requests to do things for others at the expense of yourself.

* Prioritise: Self care will ensure you can take care of loved ones.