Coast radio host Lorna Subritzky has been open about her experiences with breast cancer and chemotherapy, including in a new podcast series. Photo / Supplied
If you know someone going through cancer, ask them how they are feeling and don't bring up stories you've heard about people's tough times with the disease.
That's the advice from Coast radio host Lorna Subritzky, who is going through chemotherapy as she tackles breast cancer for the second time and documenting her experiences in a podcast miniseries.
Subritzky was diagnosed with the disease for the second time earlier this year, after her yearly screening in December was delayed to May this year due to Covid-19 backlogs.
Speaking to Paula Bennett on her New Zealand Herald podcast, Ask Me Anything, Subritzky said it is difficult to say she was frustrated by the delays which potentially meant she missed it earlier.
"I could go, look, if you'd seen me in December, this would've been caught earlier, it wouldn't have necessarily got to lymph nodes, it could have been spared chemo.
"But there's actually no guarantee the way it was growing that was even there in December, 'cause it wasn't there 15 months earlier and it grew between the time and they found it on the ultrasound and when they removed it, it had grown in that time.
"So if it hadn't been picked up in December last year, then I'd be waiting till December this year."
Her first experience with breast cancer was with growths known as DCIS or grade zero, but this time it is "fully fledged", with 18 lymph nodes needing to be removed earlier this year. She is halfway through chemotherapy, with five sessions to go.
Subritzky stressed that all experiences with chemotherapy are different, and her focus is on getting through this round before further treatment starts later.
She has experienced both sides of cancer, having lost her brother, Vernon, last year to the disease.
Asked what advice she'd give to friends and family unsure how to help someone going through cancer, Subritzky said she would rather people ask how she is feeling than not say anything at all.
"I have had some friends I guess they feel awkward, maybe they don't know what to say, and they have not been in touch at all, which is quite weird.
"I love people who just ask, 'how are you doing, how are you feeling, are you tired?' Treat me like a human being."
She said her natural instinct is to say no when people offer to do something, but she has loved when people insist on making dinner or helping out in small ways that don't get in the way.
Subritzky said she'd rather people not offer up stories of other people's experiences.
"Please don't tell me about your friend who also went through breast cancer, who had a double mastectomy and did chemo and still died. Please don't tell me that.
"Positivity is great, but it's also hard when people just go, 'Oh, you've got this, you'll be fine.' And the thing is we don't know really. But when people say, 'I'm here for you, wanna go out for a coffee', and actually talk about something else. That is fabulous.
"I spend a lot of my week with medical people talking about my cancer or on podcasts. I would love to go out and have a coffee or a glass of wine and talk and gossip."